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[–]jaseface1 318 points319 points  (21 children)

What's been your funniest kill?

[–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 670 points671 points  (18 children)

First wife.

[–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 781 points782 points  (16 children)

Oh, wait, you said "funniest." I thought you meant "tragic, violent, and accidental."

[–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 208 points209 points  (13 children)

But I thought Angel did it? Wait a minute...

Did you lie?

HEY EVERYBODY! HANDSOME JACK LIES TO PEOPLE ON OCCASION! DON'T ALWAYS TRUST WHAT HE SAYS!

[–]Brraaap 41 points42 points  (3 children)

He said first wife. No one ever said Angel's mother was his first wife.

[–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 11 points12 points  (2 children)

JACK'S ALT ACCOUNT FOUND

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Unijack.

[–]jamarcus92TWO SOUNDS. ME PUNCHING YOU AND ME PUNCHING YOU AGAIN 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Jackdawing.

[–]AidenTheHuman 25 points26 points  (1 child)

He's a phoney!

[–]Reamofqtips 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Look at this guy! He's a big fat phoney!

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[deleted]

    [–]TragedyInMotion 4 points5 points  (4 children)

    So maybe I'm just cerebral, but is it within the realm of possibility that Angel's "chairing" didn't kill Jack's first wife, but scarred/uglified her? Doesn't he say something like, "... you didn't see what she did to her mother. I had to restrain Angel's power..."

    It can be reasonable that Jack embodies the stereotypical narcissistic "I'm God" coder mentality and is extremely shallow. In this AMA, Jack has said that he killed is first wife, sarcastically implying it was an accident. Maybe the asshole just killed her because she was ugly. Blaming Angel for the guilt he feels, not understanding what the emotion is and never being able to process it.

    [–]Evil4Zerggin 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    That is the statement that contradicts causalty, yes. Again, my point is that Jack's wife's death must have happened after Angel's "chairing", and therefore cannot have caused it. Even if Angel did actually do something to her mother, whatever it was can't have been severe enough for her to agree with the chairing, as evidenced in Get to Know Jack.

    While there is little hard evidence one way or another whether Angel actually did do something drastic to her mother, I would argue that Occam's razor points to Jack simply lying as the most likely explanation.

    Beyond this, my personal pet theory (which I have no evidence for) is that Jack's motivation for chairing Angel had nothing to do with her Siren powers, but rather he wanted to be the sole object of worship (that God complex again) and was jealous of the attention his wife and daughter were giving each other instead of him.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    In the first ECHO, Jack tells Angel as he's chairing her that "[Mommy]'s not coming back." Which suggests that she's already dead as of the chairing.

    All that the third ECHO explicitly states is that Angel's mother knew that Angel was dangerous in some way. It doesn't say that Angel was chaired at the time that Angel's mother "suggested as much."

    [–]Evil4Zerggin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Jack is a known liar (cf. Helena Pierce) and has incentive to lie in the first ECHO. Moorin has no incentive to lie in the third ECHO, since his statement is common knowledge between him and Jack, so lying would be futile. Neither does Jack contradict him.

    And again, there would be nothing to shut down before the chairing. "Angel" is used to refer both to the person and the control core as a whole. In this case it's referring to the control core, since "shut down" is a phrase applied to devices, not people.

    [–]TragedyInMotion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Damn. I like that idea too. And thanks for clearing that up. I think I get what you're saying now.

    [–]maggosh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Sorry, I had to shut off my complimentary blowjob machine, what're you on about?

    [–]Eruanno 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    STORY TIME

    [–]Greyfox643I need it dead in 1 shot or less 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    how are they not the same thing?

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    PLOT TWIST!!!

    [–]Loqol 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Gotta be the spoon. SPLOOP!

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Or maybe we can get a teaser for a kill yet to occur.

    [–]PolarSuccess 280 points281 points  (5 children)

    My girlfriend is dressing up as you for Halloween. Should I be aroused?

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 717 points718 points  (3 children)

    If you're not, I'm certainly aroused enough for the both of us.

    [–]RienuaaJack fangirl at heart 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    I'm going as you for Halloween too! I'm also a girl and... Shit, am I dating the guy who asked this question.

    [–]Gamerghost44Operation: Shoot that chick in the head. 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    If not, I'm available.

    [–]PolarSuccess 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Don't make it weird, Jack. So where do you shop for bitchin' labcoat and blazer combos?

    [–]Stealth_Cow 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    Only if she used the official Handsome Jack licensed, Hyperion made Handsome Jack Sexy Index: 10 Cosplay Costume and Prop Kit

    [–][deleted] 270 points271 points  (17 children)

    Have you and Mr Torgue ever gone golfing?

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 639 points640 points  (4 children)

    No, because I value my eardrums and he presumably values not being riddled with goddamn bullets.

    [–]TorgueFlexington 181 points182 points  (0 children)

    F*CK YOUR DAMN EARDRUMS!

    [–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (1 child)

    EXPLODING GOLFBALLS ҉

    [–]Gamerghost44Operation: Shoot that chick in the head. 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Actually this is a real prank.

    [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 292 points293 points  (11 children)

    They never got past the first hole, as Hyperion clubs take 3 swings to reach max accuracy and TORGUE CLUBS F*CKIN EXPLODE ҉

    [–]Aethien 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    Improving golf one explosion at a time.

    [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Golf would be a hell of a lot more interesting if one ball at each tournament was secretly filled with enough high-explosives to seriously maim and/or kill whoever hits it.

    [–]IT_IS_MR_TORGUE 12 points13 points  (2 children)

    I LIKE YOU. COME WORK FOR TORGUE.

    [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I WOULD LIKE A KERBLASTER AND RAVAGER AS SIGN-ON BONUSES ҉

    [–]IT_IS_MR_TORGUE 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    DONE, STRANGER ҉

    [–]take_it_in_striderSMOKIN JESUS TITTY CINNAMON THAT THING IS A MONSTARRRRR 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    Alternatively, Tediore clubs are great for people with anger management issues and Jakobs ones pretty much guarantee a hole-in-one (subject to being knocked off balance every time you swing).

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Y'all need to make this happen. I would totally play this game. And I hate golf.

    [–]Gamerghost44Operation: Shoot that chick in the head. 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Why you hate golf, there is something you don't know about me, but I am also an avid golfer. You might be wondering how I have time for both gaming and golfing, the answer is simple, I have no social life.

    [–]BlakeIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Damn, nice one!

    [–][deleted] 184 points185 points  (7 children)

    Do you ever meet any of the 'war hippies' over at Maliwan? What do they smoke?

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 486 points487 points  (6 children)

    Batteries, weirdly? It's a -- it's like an e-cig thing, but somehow less cool. Imagine what an e-cig would have bullied in high school. It's like that.

    [–]KaiserSeyla 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    Are their e-cigs elemental too?

    [–]Kimimaro146 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Only incendiary

    [–]Ignisar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Torgue bought all of the explosive ones

    [–]solidfang 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    It's probably an elemental e-cig or something. I've heard the corrosive ones really do a number on your internal organs.

    [–]fixermark 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Ha, joke's on them.

    They're all mildly corrosive.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    For some strange but very satisfying reason, I read that with Cave Johnson's voice in my head.

    [–][deleted] 174 points175 points  (8 children)

    How do you get your hair to look so perfect?

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 449 points450 points  (6 children)

    Genetics.

    And the tears of orphans.

    [–]Loqol 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Do they need to be crippled as well?

    [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    Well otherwise, I mean, what's the point?

    [–]MLaw2008 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    Where can I buy these orphan tears? Do they sell a pomade?

    [–]banana_slapTeam Mordecai 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Little children near and far

    Don't know where your parents are

    Cry directly in this jar

    I will drink it at the bar

    Sip sippin on orphan tears

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Oh man, I ain't seen a yfm reference in ages. At least I HOPE that's what you're referencing. Laugh at me otherwise.

    [–]banana_slapTeam Mordecai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Exactly what I'm referencing.

    [–]B_For_Dyslexia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Probably the same substance that keeps his mask on

    [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 163 points164 points  (5 children)

    Why do you only wear a glove on one hand? And why is the index finger cut out of it?

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 497 points498 points  (4 children)

    Ask Nisha.

    [–]BlazurSup 28 points29 points  (1 child)

    Comedy gold right here. I love the fact that Gearbox and 2k is allowing you to get away with this. Er, I mean...Hyperion is allowing you to get away with it.

    Still gonna kill ya, however.

    [–]Tyres20 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Shush, you are spoiling BL2 for Jack.

    [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 32 points33 points  (0 children)

    This may be the best answer to that question possible. My mind is running with that now, I hope you know :P

    [–]DamagedSave 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    So we're accepting this as canon right?

    [–]Dan_Fendi 338 points339 points  (10 children)

    I have a CL4P-TP steward bot that keeps . . . integrating with every appliance I have with an open port. Is this a bug that's going to be patched any time soon? I called Customer Service and all I got was some dolt who told me to turn it off, then turn it on again. I figured you might know what's up, since you're a coder working for Hyperion.

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 770 points771 points  (7 children)

    I'm not tech support, but I've come up with a couple of solutions for the recurring "Claptrap is irritating" problem:

    1. Kill the Claptrap
    2. Kill yourself

    It's an either/or thing. I wouldn't do both.

    [–]PghDrake 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    You wouldn't, of course. But why not suggest that HE does?

    [–]JJacobi92 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

    [–]RampageFillTheRedBar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Have you ever considered trying to pay your enemies to kill themselves? You could post it to the job board and request them to jump into lava or something to that effect.

    [–]Eruanno 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    What? Why not both? I thought Hyperion wanted to sell more people on the New-U thing. Suicide seems like the perfect business opportunity for this.

    [–]TeslaTormentI'm the conductor of the poop train. 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I fucking love you.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    He should, though.

    [–]Mainstay17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

    [–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

    And now we know Hammerlock's /u/.

    [–]deltax20a 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    That's not a bug. That's a feature!

    [–]NishaTheLawbringer 327 points328 points  (2 children)

    Why do you keep staring at me whenever I ask you something? It gets a bit creepy after the first twenty or so times.

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 465 points466 points  (1 child)

    Hey, what's -- hey. How are -- what's up. Hey.

    Hi, hey.

    [–]NishaTheLawbringer 41 points42 points  (0 children)

    You seriously confuse me sometimes.

    Like, about to strangle someone confused.

    [–]LumberjackPirate 158 points159 points  (5 children)

    Why are there only 6 Sirens in the universe and how the hell did you find that out?

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 369 points370 points  (1 child)

    Everybody knows that. What, were you raised in a barn? A barn without books about Sirens?

    [–]LordofShit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Are we ever going to get more siren/erosion lore?

    [–]AMontyPython 152 points153 points  (11 children)

    What would the title of the song Taylor Swift writes about you be called?

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 441 points442 points  (8 children)

    "I'm glad that I finally found a permanent boyfriend in you, Handsome Jack, you are the best and we get along super well, let's kill everyone together"

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 475 points476 points  (6 children)

    And then in parentheses, "(also wow you are super good at sex stuff)"

    That's all one title

    [–]MotonlessPotato 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    It's a title, AND the refrain.

    [–]tht1crzyguy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Taylor Swift suddenly became Fall Out Boy

    [–]GaigeAndDeathtrap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    So much hotness!

    [–]The-Narwhal-Of-Doom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's like a P!ATD song

    [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

    What the hell, my title was better than yours. That's not supposed to happen.

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I want Taylor Swift to go on a murderous rampage with you, Jack.

    [–]Stealth_Cow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Trouble?

    [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    "Waaaaah Handsome Jack broke up with me so yeah this is another song about a breakup waaaaah and also he has a 12-inch penis and is really good in bed and super handsome and funny waaaaaah"

    [–]Sko0ter 914 points915 points  (16 children)

    Oh man, this is one of them moments. CATCH A RIIIIDE!!!!!

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 1043 points1044 points  (10 children)

    I hope you die.

    [–]Sko0ter 204 points205 points  (9 children)

    Now that ain't nice Mr. Jack. Yous just mad cause my inventions are givin ya a run for your money!

    [–]FrostCollar 23 points24 points  (8 children)

    my inventions are givin ya a run for your money!

    ...are you making money? Them cars pop up for free for me.

    [–]Sko0ter 31 points32 points  (5 children)

    Yeah, well, uh... Shoot...

    [–]CacophonicSex 13 points14 points  (4 children)

    You might want to check the software vulnerabilities of your Catch-a-Ride stations. I'm pretty sure some people are hacking them to accept forged licenses.

    [–]number473 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    Then Scooter fixed the system and no-one was ever able to use vehicles in BL ever again.

    [–]CacophonicSex 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    I mean, you could buy a licence. What else you gonna do with the ridiculous amount of cash you accumulate.

    [–]Wade1423SHUT THE F**k UP STEVE! 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Spend them on the new-U-stations. Because i suck at the game.

    [–]CacophonicSex 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    SSHHHH, *whispers* you can't talk about those where he can hear you!

    [–]CacophonicSex 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I hope you didn't hack a Catch-a-Ride. I've heard he once (more than once) tied someone to a vending machine and set him on fire for making fun of his sister. My bet he just gets jealous of anyone who gets close to her. But if vendor-bound incineration is what he does out of jealousy, I'd hate to see him rage.

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Have you taken the Swallowed Whole side mission? I wouldn't admit that to Scooter's face.

    [–]Kyomaa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Seriously my favorite post of all time.

    [–]Etherfast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Gahhhh :D

    [–]NamatophobicAiming? What is that? 140 points141 points  (2 children)

    I heard vault hunters are really stupid. Like REALLY REALLY stupid. So stupid that if you hacked their ECHO and told them to do what you say, they probably will without ever asking "Why is there some girl covering my entire vision, why does she know so much about me, and why can she see my every movement?" Is this true?

    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 220 points221 points  (1 child)

    Pahahahaha. Ahhh. So stupid.

    So, so, so stupid.

    [–]romannumbers96 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Follow up question - How did you get the wonderful idea for the "I'll pay you to kill yourself" mission?

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 665 points666 points  (3 children)

      Weirdly specific question.

      But yes.

      [–][deleted] 135 points136 points  (2 children)

      I'm having a great day, minding my own business in Fyrestone. I certainly hope that I don't get ambushed by skags and have my gun split up into 4 separate pieces!

      [–]Rockinallnight 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      oh god THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT'S HAPPENING AGHHH

      [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      OH GOD THAT IS EXACTLY WHATS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

      [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 265 points266 points  (8 children)

      Handsome, heroic, and way too damned good at your job... I think the REAL question is why those idiot higher ups at Hyperion haven't been bending over backwards and recognizing your potential.

      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 631 points632 points  (7 children)

      You? You're my kinda ass-kisser. When I electrify every keyboard connected to this AMA, I'll make sure yours is as a low wattage.

      Well, low-ish.

      [–]Mendicantbias00 116 points117 points  (5 children)

      Jokes on you, I'm reading from my cellular device!

      [–][deleted] 206 points207 points  (3 children)

      Nice part about lithium ion batteries?

      The part where they explode.

      [–]checky 136 points137 points  (2 children)

      DID SOMEBODY SAY....EXPLOSIONS? ҉

      [–]FlowersOfSin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      I clicked on that "load more comments" totally expecting that. Was not disappointed.

      [–]NonsensicalBS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Too soon man. Too soon

      [–]Topher876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Your screen is more conductive than my keyboard.

      [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Hey, I only kiss asses for the best ;)

      [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 252 points253 points  (13 children)

      How did you ever get so handsome?

      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 684 points685 points  (12 children)

      See? Everyone, look -- look at this.

      THIS is a question. Not "wuhgughf what if butt stallion and gugh torgue fought would that be fugughgh fun", not "wharglbhrrh new u stations wharhgh canon."

      Just short, direct, and so complimentary that I got to half mast before I'd reached the third syllable.

      Be like this guy. Or girl.

      Hopefully girl. I'm into girls. Which evidently makes me some sort of outlier on Pandora.

      [–]LunarFalcon 97 points98 points  (9 children)

      Ooh hey! I'm a girl and totally willing to be arm candy for you. My husband might object but I'm sure you've got a melon baller for him.

      [–]psychosaur 113 points114 points  (8 children)

      Hmm, dumping me for Jack I see. Let me know that works out for you, dear.

      [–]LunarFalcon 22 points23 points  (7 children)

      You're just jealous because you're not even 1/10 of the man that Jack is.

      [–]psychosaur 22 points23 points  (6 children)

      No, I'm actually really happy for you. I'm sure Jack will take the best care of you.

      [–]LunarFalcon 15 points16 points  (5 children)

      Hey man, if it's Jack I'm sure I'd die happy.

      [–]psychosaur 17 points18 points  (4 children)

      I'm sure you will.

      [–]LunarFalcon 15 points16 points  (3 children)

      I know that you're upset because you were born with XY chromosomes and will never even have the chance yourself.

      [–]psychosaur 18 points19 points  (2 children)

      Yep, I'll never be drug around the galaxy to accompany Jack on his adventures. So sad. I hear Pandora is lovely this time of year.

      [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      Definitely girl... guess it's our lucky day ;)

      I'm also guessing it's genetics and the tears of orphans, in which case hey... I'm not judging. It looks good on you!

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I'm into girls. Which evidently makes me some sort of outlier on Pandora.

      Well, Fyrestone isn't exactly brimming with hot lady-psychos. A vault hunter's gotta have a good time somehow, amirite?!?

      Maybe you can bring some change to Pandora.

      [–][deleted] 121 points122 points  (4 children)

      Mr. Jack,

      Do you have any advice for aspiring developers hoping to emulate your meteoric rise at Hyperion?

      Also, have you considered any joint projects with Torgue Corp?

      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 224 points225 points  (3 children)

      Sure! My advice to all you sad, mewling little wannabes is: don't! There's already one Handsome Jack, and it ain't you. So if you like your kidneys/house/mother's torso where they are, you'll stay riiiiight on the bottom of the ol' corporate ladder.

      [–]KaiserBearMy Siren's name is Brick, and she is the prettiest. 16 points17 points  (1 child)

      Can I claw my way up to just below you, and then serve as a professional kiss-ass? I don't really have any corporate or leadership ambitions, I just want to claw some fuckers without fear of reprisal.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      As someone also named Jack, I like this guy.

      [–]CacophonicSex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Come on, man. We are in different markets. Sure you can spare a few secrets.

      [–]Brick50CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN! 224 points225 points  (11 children)

      Handsome Jack, first of all thank you for doing this!

      What is your opinion of Wilhelm, Nisha, Claptrap, and Athena each individually?

      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 584 points585 points  (10 children)

      Wilhelm: As far as monosyllabic cyborgs go, an okay dude. Seems pretty dense, easily led. Strongly considering poisoning him in the future in order to dupe my enemies into thinking they've won. Also considering accidentally forgetting to put that line of dialog into the game so it just ends up being super confusing and illogical.

      Claptrap: No.

      Athena: Weird chick. Prides herself on "loyalty," but the only thing I know about her is that she killed her old boss and blew up his big house of guns. So, uh, yeah, super trust her. Sure she's a straight shooter.

      Nisha: She's, uh -- I like her. She's nice. Well not -- not NICE, she's definitely not NICE, but she's got a...like, a thing? About her? That I like? I don't know. It's -- shut up. Next question. Shut up.

      [–]Aethien 144 points145 points  (2 children)

      Nisha: She's, uh -- I like her. She's nice. Well not -- not NICE, she's definitely not NICE, but she's got a...like, a thing? About her? That I like? I don't know.

      Great body and a penchant for murder?

      [–]hesitant_blade 121 points122 points  (1 child)

      Brunette, great body, distantly related to him, great body... she's perfect man

      [–]Reaperdude97 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Scooter?

      [–]Brick50CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN! 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Have you ever considered destroying every single claptrap unit?

      Also, is there anything going on between you and Moxxi?

      [–]JunahCgYou like that? 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Also considering accidentally forgetting to put that line of dialog into the game

      Is that really what happened?! It all makes so much sense now.

      [–]hardbeat101 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      OOOOOOHHHHH MMYYYY GOOOODD!

      She's Athena as in General Knoxx Athena!

      Smokin' Jesus Titties Cinnamon!

      [–]MLaw2008 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That response about Nisha was amazing. Handsome Jack is real.

      [–]CptnMrgn246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Lol. Poor claptrap

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I hate to break character but if Gearbox actually forgot to put the poison dialogue in the game why didn't you/they just patch it in? Even if somehow you lose all copies of the audio file, it's on youtube.

      [–]Loqol 209 points210 points  (9 children)

      Why would you hire a CL4P-TP to do anything but open doors for you? What were you thinking trusting him on Elpis?

      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 466 points467 points  (8 children)

      Look, I --

      Look. It was a dark time in my life, okay? No real job prospects, no budget to do anything with, boss has it out for me (like, he hired assassins), no bodyguards. So I took a stupid little tin can programmed for dancing and high-pitched whining, I slapped some goddamn guns on him, and installed some stair-climbing subroutines.

      We all make mistakes. Mine was not killing every single Claptrap I saw. And getting married.

      [–]deltax20a 75 points76 points  (4 children)

      That's sort of how I feel every time I log in to our Lotus Notes system.

      Even the icon. That yellow icon. Oh god.

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Writing integrations for Lotus Notes has been the closest I've come to self-harm.

      No. Just, no.

      [–]evenmorelike 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I just had a flashback. * shudder *

      Have an upvote.

      [–]whiteb90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I have to suffer with that abysmal pile of coding failure as well. I feel your pain.

      [–]qwertytarr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Was it because she saw through your tough candy shell into the warm caramel center? Then saw through that into the even deeper harder shell inside that?

      [–]Loqol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It's okay, I won't judge you. Even I was tempted to find a way to off that adorkable little bot.

      [–]RdJokrYou scratch your own nuts. -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      But... Claptrap can already climb stairs. Why needing to install subroutines?

      [–][deleted] 379 points380 points  (25 children)

      Who took longer to apply their mask every morning: you or Moxxi?

      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 1026 points1027 points  (13 children)

      It's cute that you think she was still around come morning.

      [–]B_For_Dyslexia 202 points203 points  (0 children)

      Daaaaamn Jack

      [–]glenheartless 96 points97 points  (0 children)

      Is that how fast she dumped you?

      [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

      I thought Good Touch was in response to her disappointment with you.

      [–]semi_modular_mind 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      *Bad Touch

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      She made Good Touch to compensate. Bad Touch was probably modeled after Jack.

      [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      She keeps Good Touch around to do what Jack couldn't.

      She keeps Bad Touch around in case he tries again.

      [–]happybirthdaygelatin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Is this more of a comment on your self, Moxxi, or perhaps both of you?

      [–]ashhhhjx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Hahaha nice.

      [–]theblackfool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      My favorite reply here.

      [–]EnasniVolzMiss me, Sugar? 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Oh sugar. Its cute that you think I wanted to be around you for more than a few hours at a time.

      [–]Loqol 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I like to picture this as you being the only motherfucker in the system to be able to tell her to go, rather than her likely keeping things on her terms.

      My hat goes off to you.

      [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      But she dumped him.

      [–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (10 children)

      Somebody's about to get choked.

      [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 189 points190 points  (9 children)

      *Ahem*

      Strangled.

      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 434 points435 points  (3 children)

      I like you.

      Wait, nevermind, I looked at your username.

      I don't like you.

      [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 61 points62 points  (2 children)

      What the hell, man? I'm not an actual jockey's ballsack! I'm a regular person who really likes Hyperion gear!

      Screw it, I'm a strong independent black woman who don't need no Handsome Jack. Your loss.

      [–]MothaFuckingSorcerer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Everyone needs handsome Jack. You're lying to yourself.

      [–]AVeryProudBlackWoman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You rang? I'm a bit late.

      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      I am unaware of the distinction, hopefully someday it will be explained to me.

      [–]renrawmit 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      Choking is when there's some kind of blockage in the windpipe, like Jack's fist, preventing breathing. Strangling is when something squeezes it shut, like Jack's thumbs. Edit: words

      [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Jack has also strangled people with his watch chain. RIP Mr. Tassiter.

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      woosh

      [–]TheBetasaurRequesting Salute Support 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Not if that somebody was Moxxi. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

      [–]NamatophobicAiming? What is that? 99 points100 points  (2 children)

      What is your day to day job like at Hyperion? What kind of place do you work at? Do you have any friends at work?

      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 292 points293 points  (1 child)

      Do I have any fr--pahaha.

      Do I have any friends, he asks. Of course I do. I've got tons of friends. God, I have so many friends. Jesus, I can't believe you even asked that. Too many to list here. God, so many friends. Man. You're an idiot.

      Man.

      [–]Eruanno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      ...How many of your friends are currently alive? (Breathing through a tube does not count)

      [–]Brokunn 95 points96 points  (5 children)

      If you rearrange the letters in "Handsome Jack" you can spell "He's a damn jock". Are you aware of the implications?

      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 253 points254 points  (4 children)

      "Oh, Jack, did you realize your name has an interesting anagram? Hey Jack, you definitely didn't run your name through an anagram machine when you decided to completely redefine your personality and found the one that had the most masculine and aggro sentences hiding in it, did you? You're definitely not the smartest goddamn person on Pandora, so there's no way you did any of that, right?"

      You goddamn people.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 178 points179 points  (19 children)

        Who do you consider to be Hyperions top competitor?

        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 444 points445 points  (18 children)

        People who ask questions about if New-U stations are canon or not.

        [–][deleted]  (15 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 387 points388 points  (0 children)

          The missiles are already in the air. Stay where you are unless you want to increase the collateral damage.

          Which, hey, that'd be pretty funny, so actually screw it go ahead and do that

          [–]Eruanno 85 points86 points  (9 children)

          Silliest endgame ever: Two New-U stations facing eachother: Vault Hunter shoots Jack, Jack respawns, shoots Vault Hunter, Vault Hunter respawns, shoots Jack -continue to infinity-

          [–]hitalec 14 points15 points  (3 children)

          To be fair, the New-U stations run on money, so one of the competitors would naturally run out of money before the other.

          [–]ShittDickk 21 points22 points  (0 children)

          That'd be even funnier. Have a Bank Account Bar, instead of a Boss Health Bar. If you can't kill jack, you break him. Take him for everything he's worth.

          [–]Spider_RivieraWANT IT! NEED IT GOTTA HAVE IT! 9 points10 points  (1 child)

          Respawn is free, if you're poor enough though...

          [–]hitalec 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Oh, my apologies. That's interesting and I didn't know that!

          [–]Colavs9601 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Too bad the infinity pistol has such a horrible drop rate.

          [–]unit220 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Or until someone runs outta money. spoiler alert, jack wins

          [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Could make a Machina about it.

          [–]GloriousToast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I had a game where jack's doubles spawned endlessly. It was fun for three minutes but they just kept coming :c

          [–]RuneKatashimaAnd I disappear A ghost amidst the combat Preparing to strike. 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          One of them will run out of money eventually.

          [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

          Meta as fuck. Crosses fingers that Jack has a New-U account.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I laugh at people who talk about things outside of the game, like game writers.

          [–]ItsGotToMakeSenseSteeeeeven! 83 points84 points  (2 children)

          Jack, we all know you're awesome. But what we're wondering is, how did you become so awesome? Were you born that way or do you have to work for it every day?

          [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 221 points222 points  (1 child)

          Some men are born awesome, some have awesomeness thrust upon them, some get incredibly depressed from being labeled a nerd and arbitrarily decide to upend their entire persona and create an awesome new one from scratch.

          Not saying which one I am, just observing.

          [–]theGentlemanInWhite 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I'd certainly be willing to believe that this awesome person decided to "thrust" upon you.

          [–]rambogizmo 85 points86 points  (15 children)

          Would you say that RED is Taylor's definitive album, or are you a fan of her earlier works? Personally, I can't wait for 1989.

          [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 232 points233 points  (14 children)

          I've heard some advance tracks from 1989, and it's definitely her best. Though RED is a better encapsulation of her ability to straddle country and pop, so as a quintessential T-Swift album I'd be hard pressed to recommend the more pop-centric 1989 over it, even if it's my personal preference.

          One time I choked a guy so hard one of his eyeballs popped out

          [–]One_more_pageHappy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 13 points14 points  (6 children)

          You what'd a guy so hard his eyeballs popped out? Jack, I am disappointed in you.

          [–]qwertytarr 19 points20 points  (5 children)

          He obviously means he stuck he fist down the guy's throat and caused him to choke from that. Dumbass.

          [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 54 points55 points  (3 children)

          Correct. The fact that you all seem to think strangulation is the only way you can kill someone using their neck and your bare hands is pretty disappointing.

          [–]idkmybffyossarian 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          Oh. Bare hands. Homophones are gonna be the death of me.

          [–]MartyMcPunchman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Seriously, I was already planning on buying the Pre-Sequel, but this single post, right here, inspired me to buy my stupid friend who's on the fence about it a copy.

          [–]MartyMcPunchman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I am so very happy to read this. Finally, someone gets it.

          [–]One_more_pageHappy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Of course! How could I have ever doubted?

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          One time I choked a guy

          !!!

          [–]ContemplativeOctopus"the moral is: you're a total bitch" 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Just once? I'm awfully surprised too.

          [–]TheAugitePawn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Nice save.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I love that big bad Jack of Hyperion loves Taylor Swift.

          [–]ContemplativeOctopus"the moral is: you're a total bitch" 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          One time I choked a guy so hard one of his eyeballs popped out

          Is this a new album? I don't think I've heard it yet.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          *Strangled

          [–]Cookerrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          • Strangled

          [–]BallisticGE0RGEThe Bandit Show 78 points79 points  (4 children)

          If you could torture any person, at any place in the galaxy, with whatever method you preferred...Who? Where? And what?

          Edit - Please don't say me. :(

          [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 156 points157 points  (3 children)

          Too late. Now you've put the idea in my head.

          [–]BallisticGE0RGEThe Bandit Show 10 points11 points  (2 children)

          Can I at least know where and with what method? I'd like to know if I should plan for a closed or open casket.

          [–]MacThaKnife1987 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Kill him with the Spoon from the Spoon Story

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Trust me, there won't be enough for a casket.
          Source: Also a Jack, we're thorough, goddamn it.

          [–][deleted]  (9 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 713 points714 points  (5 children)

            1. I
            2. Am
            3. Going
            4. To
            5. Murder
            6. You

            I answered a bonus question for you!

            [–]maggosh 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            Where do I find this Mr. Murder?

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

              [–]Coylie3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              But seriously, where did you get Butt Stallion?

              [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 70 points71 points  (2 children)

              YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR MOTHERF*CKIN FLAIR ҉

              IT'S GODDAMNED TORGUE WITH A GODDAMNED G ҉

              AND NEVER FORGET THE F*CKIN' EXPLERIOD ҉

              EDIT - THAT'S SOME GOOD SH*T RIGHT THERE JUST COPY AND PASTE AN EXPLERIOD ONTO THE END OF IT AND YOU'LL BE BALLER AS F*CK ҉

              Double edit - Nice knowing you, Salsa.

              [–]IT_IS_MR_TORGUE 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              I LIKE YOU. LET'S DO LUNCH ҉

              [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

              EXPLERIOD FTW!!! ҉ ҉ ҉

              [–]HydroXXodohRNIPPLE SALAD 78 points79 points  (3 children)

              How does the Pandoran moon compare to other moons?

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 216 points217 points  (2 children)

              Lot more weird accents.

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              In comparison to other moons on which I'd assume every guy sounds like Dameon Clarke and every woman Stephanie Young?

              [–]himynameisadam 76 points77 points  (2 children)

              Hi Handsome Jack,

              Do you see yourself as more of a visionary or an inspiration? Followup: Do you need any yes men?
              Followup followup: What is your favorite song from our insignificant planet?

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 206 points207 points  (1 child)

              I don't have time for people who require multiple followups, unless we're talking about surgeries that give you machine gun arms so you can kill everyone in New Haven for me.

              Shout out to my boy Wilhelm.

              [–]himynameisadam 9 points10 points  (0 children)

              Thank you for not only gracing my comment with your presence but also using me as a platform for hyping your friends.

              [–][deleted] 75 points76 points  (6 children)

              how many body doubles will we have to bribe to get into your inner circle

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 218 points219 points  (5 children)

              My "inner circle" consists of:

              • Me
              • Whatever I have in my pockets
              • Whomever I am strangling and/or having sex with at that particular moment in time

              So, unless you turn into a pen or start wearing cowboy hats, you're not getting anywhere near my inner circle.

              [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

              guess ill start drinking ink.

              fill out the choking/strangling and being a pen categories at once.

              [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

              Do you at times strangle and sex at the same time?

              [–]zjat 14 points15 points  (0 children)

              [–]ProblemTrollCAW CAW CAW 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              So you're banging Hammerlock? Last I checked, he had a wonderfully crafted cowboy hat with a large plume of bullymong fur adorned upon it. Looks like someone isn't into ONLY the chicks of Pandora.

              [–]Cyberkite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              So you are not planing to kill this guys?

              [–]gemini-siren 74 points75 points  (2 children)

              Hey - I work in the office adjacent to yours, and I keep hearing these WEIRD noises coming from behind locked doors... what's going on in there?

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 140 points141 points  (1 child)

              Shut up. Keep working. Shut up.

              [–]gemini-siren 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              Yes sir salutes ;)

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 144 points145 points  (7 children)

              http://imgur.com/YHlwPbB Hey weird, I found another picture of me as a teenager. This is me boarding an interstellar shuttle to my school dance.

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 108 points109 points  (4 children)

              And this is me all tired after the dance. I got stood up. http://imgur.com/xuvPEfm

              [–]Mendicantbias00 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              Stood up?! But you're Handsome Jack!

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              But that guy is dead (to us). Dun dun dun dun DUN dun dun dun dun dun duuuuunnnnnnnnn.

              [–]ashhhhjx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I would never stand you up.

              [–]Brandonspikes5/5 Relentless 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Andrew Goldfarb

              [–]kitttykatzThis jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Dude. One Piece? Really?

              Man, your grandmother REALLY did a number on you. You let her off way too easy...

              [–]BigJC103 69 points70 points  (2 children)

              If you could re-purpose a CL4P-TP unit into any house hold object, what would it be

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 181 points182 points  (1 child)

              Kindling

              [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Not to be pedantic, but I think a man-size robot would be fuel.

              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 65 points66 points  (3 children)

              What does a typical night on Elpis look like for Handsome Jack?

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 158 points159 points  (2 children)

              If I'm on my game, it looks like a really angry-looking Nisha trying to break my esophagus.

              If I'm not on my game, I shoot hoops.

              [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              Good hoop shooting in low-G?

              [–]amnesiacPterodactylCRIMEBUSTER BOT? BITCH, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              BASKETBAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall

              [–]ValdraxNumbers, numbers, math-math-math. 66 points67 points  (3 children)

              How did your grandmother end up on Pandora?

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 155 points156 points  (2 children)

              I moved her there so I could keep an eye on her. If I'd left her on Hera, she might have finished that spanking gun she was working on.

              You know that asshole sent me birthday cards with no money in them?

              Wish she'd died slower. God.

              [–]ValdraxNumbers, numbers, math-math-math. 5 points6 points  (1 child)

              She's from Hera? How fast did she go native to end up with a buzzaxe?

              Was going native an improvement in her temperament?

              [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

              The fuck are you talking about? She introduced the buzzaxe to Pandora.

              [–]crazychilidog 62 points63 points  (1 child)

              So I ordered a Hyperion Tech High Grade Industrial Superstar Max 7040(TM) about six months ago and it still hasn't came in the mail yet. How come your shipping is such garbage?

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 140 points141 points  (0 children)

              Probably because it's busy filling requests to sentient chili dogs instead of, I don't know, shipping me additional robot reinforcements and food.

              [–]thewalexHyperion Science Divsion Rookie 189 points190 points  (2 children)

              Hey Jack!

              I'm currently a graduate student research assistant, but what I really want to do is work for you on the Moon (once I defend my thesis)! Does Hyperion's science division currently have any openings I could apply for?

              Can I just give you my curriculum vitae directly, or is there a website where I can submit it?

              Thanks, A.K. Wolf

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 266 points267 points  (1 child)

              I was initially going to turn you down cause you're not a hot chick, but your resume convinced me. Head on up in a few hours. That's about as long as the poison will take to run its course on your predecessor.

              [–]thewalexHyperion Science Divsion Rookie 31 points32 points  (0 children)

              If I get there early, am I welcome to finish him off in his weakened state?

              I considered including a pin up, hoping you'd see that and miss that I'm a guy. But I knew better than to try to slip one by you!

              [–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (2 children)

              I can't think of any questions, I just wanted to say you're my hero and I want to be like you when I grow up!

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 172 points173 points  (1 child)

              Good.

              You won't be.

              But good.

              [–]LordofShit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Like you or grow up?

              [–]BallisticGE0RGEThe Bandit Show 60 points61 points  (1 child)

              Any good advice for removing blood stains from fine fabrics?

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 125 points126 points  (0 children)

              What? Just get your man to do it for you. Are you kidding me with this?

              [–]Ms4smanI'm the conductor of the poop train! 121 points122 points  (15 children)

              What brand of pretzels do you buy? After all, I wouldn't want to accidentally buy pretzels that suck.

              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 270 points271 points  (14 children)

              Funny story: my assistant had replaced my usual brand with those, like, Pop Chip things? The little styrofoam bastards, taste like your grandmother's back?

              Yeah, his family's gonna miss him.

              [–][deleted]  (9 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 72 points73 points  (7 children)

                It's fine. You can be wrong about things. Some people like slamming their fingers in desk drawers, or Big Bang Theory.

                [–]take_it_in_striderSMOKIN JESUS TITTY CINNAMON THAT THING IS A MONSTARRRRR 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                Damn straight.

                Fuck Big Bang Theory.

                [–]idontreallyreddit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                i'm going to have to use that more often. http://i.imgur.com/MzTkpvB.png

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                [deleted]

                  [–]musicman_28I should build you an extra arm just for high-fives! 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                  BAZZINGGA!

                  [–]delorean225 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  On the other side...
                  COOLCOOLCOOL!

                  [–]Bropiphany 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  BASPINGI

                  [–]ViaBlaze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  I hear that there is a grade A assistant applying for Hyperion named Blake, do you think you might hire her?

                  [–]Jill4ChrisRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  What family?

                  [–]rgbwr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  They'd miss him if they were still alive, you mean.

                  [–]AllMySadnessZane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  But how can the dead miss something too?

                  [–][deleted] 57 points58 points  (2 children)

                  Jack,

                  What's your life philosophy? I need direction in my life. And chips. And a chocolate shake. Can you help?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 138 points139 points  (1 child)

                  My life philosophy is "be a good guy, save people, kill bad guys, eat cinnamon rolls if you really want to, listen to Taylor Swift, strangle underlings."

                  [–]MadfallSiconnors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Can Taylor Swift afford a butt stallion yet?

                  [–]Rebel350 55 points56 points  (9 children)

                  I suspect my roommate is colluding with Dahl. What do you suggest I do?

                  What's your preferred method of taking down evildoers?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 106 points107 points  (3 children)

                  Depends. What's he deathly allergic to, and can you find a way to subtly sneak it into his food without making it look like you did it?

                  [–]Rebel350 21 points22 points  (2 children)

                  He's allergic to bees... Screw it I'll just put some bees in the fat bastard's chips and anyone who looks too closely I'll just face fuck with a bag of nails.

                  [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                  And that is how Handsome Jack pays ransoms!

                  [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  If that Jack doesn't hire you, this one will.

                  [–]RunicSSBI HAVE ISSUES 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                  Just fucking shoot him. If he's using Dahl weapons, he's practically unarmed.

                  [–]Born2Hula91 3 points4 points  (3 children)

                  I suspect my roommate is liar and doesn't understand the amazing utility of Hyperion Weaponry.

                  [–]Rebel350 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                  I know for a fact that while you're "Doing your homework" you're actually looking at pictures of shaved goats while touching yourself.

                  [–]Born2Hula91 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                  Please respect the man's AMA and stop spreading lies on the internet.

                  [–]Rebel350 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                  ... I'm going to rub my sweaty balls all over your toothbrush.

                  [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 255 points256 points  (11 children)

                  Wait, I thought this was Pre-Sequel Jack. STOP SAYING STUFF ABOUT HOW HE DIES HORRIBLY IN BL2, IT WILL SPOIL THE GAME FOR HIM.

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 496 points497 points  (9 children)

                  What's BL2

                  [–]Jarl__BallinCritical, bitch! 390 points391 points  (6 children)

                  Backdoor Lesbos 2

                  [–]Kimimaro146 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  Was an improvement over the first one.

                  [–]RockinOneThreeTwoGhosting - I disappear. 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  If anyone hasn't seen Backdoor Lesbos 2 then it's their own damn fault for reading spoilers

                  [–]ForscythBrazillianceSTOP SCREAMING! 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  BACKDOOR LESBOS 2?!

                  [–]LordofShit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Jeez, that makes Naughty nurses 7 look like bouncing booty back door busty babes 5.5!

                  [–]Mendicantbias00 46 points47 points  (0 children)

                  Never you mind.

                  [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                  It's this silly game where people think they can stop you from opening a vault on Pandora and ruling the planet through the control of the ancient warrior which was trapped inside the vault. It's as far-fetched as that sentence was rambling and vaguely coherent.

                  [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  I'm not even sure what it is.

                  [–]GrandmasterB-Funk 54 points55 points  (3 children)

                  In the Pre-sequel, are we gonna get to see your softer, cuddlier side?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 128 points129 points  (1 child)

                  Sure, yeah. I don't kill as many people, so I guess that's softer.

                  [–]Eruanno 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  Wait, what. PREORDER CANCELLED.

                  [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                  That depends. Did you pre-order? That nets you the aggressive snuggling DLC.

                  [–]ombrophilia 53 points54 points  (2 children)

                  How do you address the various paternity claims made against you by the former CEO of S&S Munitions?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 128 points129 points  (1 child)

                  [–]Greyfox643I need it dead in 1 shot or less 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  Classiest. Answer. Ever.

                  [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 51 points52 points  (4 children)

                  You're (thankfully!) not to blame for the CL4P-TP units' AI... but what sorts of things HAVE you been in charge of programming/writing code for at Hyperion?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 121 points122 points  (3 children)

                  Social media, synergy, content, value, branding, brand messaging, content creation, value dynamics, dynamic values, content, mindshare, positively impacting purchase intent, Battleborn is: FPS; hobby-grade coop campaign; genre-blended, multi-mode competitive e-sports; meta-growth, choice + epic Battleborn Heroes

                  [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  Good god, you are perfection wrapped up in an enigma wrapped up in a handsome package. (If I wasn't sold about Battleborn Heroes yet, I am now :P)

                  [–]Mendicantbias00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Thorn or Rath?

                  [–]farfr0mepic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Spoken like a true CEO.

                  [–]WifkyRijanarko 140 points141 points  (5 children)

                  Would you fight 1000 Midget-Sized Warriors or 1 Warrior-Sized Psycho?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 291 points292 points  (1 child)

                  1 Warrior-Sized Psycho. I think you're severely underestimating the deadliness of Pandora's little people.

                  [–]CyberogueI LOVE my powers 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                  Have you ever fought legendary loot midgets? Yeah, 1000 of those

                  [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                  1000 midgets psychos or one Krieg?

                  [–]KaiserBearMy Siren's name is Brick, and she is the prettiest. 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                  I'm not fighting Krieg, his pecs have pecs.

                  [–]Zeero92STRANGER DANGER!!! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  YOU'LL NEVER CHOKE ME DOWN!!!!!

                  [–]Paulie36 95 points96 points  (8 children)

                  How is Butt Stallion doing? and Have you gotten better playing the violin?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 340 points341 points  (6 children)

                  She's alright. Accidentally speared one her of handlers with that bi-horn thingy, and she kinda cries a lot and tries to break free of her chains, but I'm pretty sure that's just how diamond ponies express happiness.

                  And I am sick as hell at the violin now. I can play Wonderwall.

                  [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 146 points147 points  (3 children)

                  I can play Wonderwall.

                  See, douchebags play Wonderwall on guitar. Artists play it on violin.

                  [–]Aethien 13 points14 points  (2 children)

                  See, douchebags play Wonderwall on guitar. Artists pretentious douchebags play it on violin.

                  Fixed that for you.

                  [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 19 points20 points  (0 children)

                  Well, you just earned a spot on the strangulation list.

                  [–]Kyomaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  They're not douche bags okay, they're ... eclectic... ... ... Just looked up the definition for that word, definitely corresponds with douche bag. Sorry for interrupting you.

                  [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Can you play Masterplan as well? I'm looking to hold an Oasis cover performance in Oasis, over the corpse of that Shade douchetool.

                  [–]Zombait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  But, he hasn't named butt stallion yet...

                  [–]N3WM4NH4774Nwith words 97 points98 points  (1 child)

                  Hi Jack!

                  I'm a huge fan, I've read all about how you opened the vault on Pandora and slew the Destroyer, great job!!! Thanks for doing this AMA.

                  Now for my question: I'm stuck here in the slums on Promethea, I really want to get offworld and come work for Hyperion. Any advise?

                  Thanks a bazillion! N3WM4NH4774N

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 147 points148 points  (0 children)

                  Tell ya what -- you find some Eridian tech on Promethea, and we'll come to you. Alternately, just do what I do -- get blackmail evidence on your bosses, commandeer a satellite, and hire mercenaries to murder people for you.

                  Now that I think about it, doesn't sound like our situations are too similar. Guess you're gonna die. Love you!

                  [–]Scribshanks 47 points48 points  (1 child)

                  Jack, I'm looking for a new job. I'm an communications engineer at the moment, but I'm looking to move to death traps / super weapons. Can you help me out?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

                  Just start building them on your own time. Hyperion really appreciates a can-do, self-motivated perspective on mass murder.

                  [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 98 points99 points  (10 children)

                  Inquiring minds want to know... what do you smell like?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 207 points208 points  (9 children)

                  When I'm angry: fresh-baked cookies

                  When I'm aroused: burning flesh

                  When I'm eating fresh-baked cookies: strangulation

                  [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (6 children)

                  What does strangulation smell like?

                  [–]gamenut89 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                  If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

                  [–]Quesadilla_Quarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Fresh baked cookies.

                  [–]HitmanRob1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                  Burning cookies.

                  [–]Gamerghost44Operation: Shoot that chick in the head. 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Why not fresh baked flesh.

                  [–]PixelatedBaloney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Sunshine and buttercups.

                  [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Rainbows and summer days.

                  [–]El_Cookienator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  I'm liking the cookie theme here

                  [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Alright, inquiring minds NOW want to know... what happens when you get aroused that makes you smell like burning flesh? Or does the sensation of lighting other people on fire just excite you, making the burning flesh smell sort of a background effect?

                  ...either way, count me in. You'll find no judgment here!

                  [–]13Graves 95 points96 points  (4 children)

                  Handsome, why are they even CALLED Sirens? I mean, they don't lure seamen to their death or anything. What do you think a better name for them is?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 273 points274 points  (2 children)

                  "Macguffins"

                  [–]RuneKatashimaAnd I disappear A ghost amidst the combat Preparing to strike. 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  The reference.

                  [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Dead.

                  [–]TheAngryBlueberryYOU ROBOTIC SUMBITCHES 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                  They sure lure MY seamen to death ;)

                  [–]_AxtonTheCommando_Meet my Girlfriend 96 points97 points  (1 child)

                  I'm an unemployed up-and-coming vault hunter that definitely has no past affiliations with one of Hyperion's greatest competitors looking for a way around Pandora. Could you suggest a rail line?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 129 points130 points  (0 children)

                  I've got just the one.

                  [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 130 points131 points  (2 children)

                  When you become president, will you have whoever wrote the AI for the CL4P-TP units arrested for their unspeakable crimes against humanity?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 471 points472 points  (1 child)

                  "Arrested"

                  Pahahahahahahahhahahaahahah

                  Oh my god I can't

                  Aahahhahahahahahahahhaah

                  Arrested

                  Oh god

                  Aahahahah

                  This friggin guy

                  [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                  I like the way you think... I'm into Murders and Executions, myself. Errrr... Mergers and Acquisitions.

                  [–]HelixDnB 44 points45 points  (10 children)

                  Do you have any more grade school photos to share?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 86 points87 points  (9 children)

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 81 points82 points  (7 children)

                  Here's another good one. This is me dressed up for private school.

                  I was eight.

                  http://bitcast-a-sm.bitgravity.com/slashfilm/wp/wp-content/images/extras02.jpg

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 84 points85 points  (5 children)

                  [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  How did you get so handsome?

                  [–]FatedTitan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  Took you as much more of a handsome guy than that. No wonder you put a mask on.

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Hey look it's andrew miller from podcast unlocked brap brap.

                  [–]BlazurSup -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

                  Holy crap, Gary Busey is your uncle? That explains your rise to infamy.

                  [–]HelixDnB 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                  That's Ted Danson

                  [–]Why_TNo Krieg, that's not where the pain goes. 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Is that Taylor Swift behind you?

                  [–]TheHorsemanConquest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  I didn't realize you were also fucking up Payday 2.

                  [–]scorpianman42 86 points87 points  (17 children)

                  What is your favorite fruit?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 202 points203 points  (16 children)

                  Grapefruit. If you're imaginative -- which, obviously I am -- you can find some pretty neat uses of citrus as an enhanced interrogation technique. Acidic foods, babe.

                  [–]thewalexHyperion Science Divsion Rookie 75 points76 points  (11 children)

                  I can only presume you're referring to The Grapefruit Technique? Is that a personal favorite of yours?

                  [–]hitschildren 47 points48 points  (0 children)

                  ^ Super NSFW

                  [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                  I have the weirdest boner right now

                  [–]Darsol 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  Oh jesus, the sounds at the end...

                  [–]Kimimaro146 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  HORGHGJOGRGGFGGHG

                  [–]Wibblybit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  what is this..........

                  [–]msmorphine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  I....really thought I was progressive...until now. >_>

                  [–]TheAngryBlueberryYOU ROBOTIC SUMBITCHES 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Sloppy sloshin' Jack

                  [–]WeightyUnit88If it took more than one shot, you weren't using a Jakobs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  WHAT.THE.FUCK

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  I can't be the only one disappointed that this method isn't remotely painful for the guy.

                  [–]Ghostlupe 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                  Please God no, I nearly killed my vocal cords from laughing so hard the last time I watched that. x3

                  [–]Fleemer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  wtf LOOLLOOLOL

                  [–]SirPutts-a-lot 6 points7 points  (3 children)

                  I'm guessing /u/scorpianman42 is a man. Do you call all 42 year old men "babe"?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 54 points55 points  (2 children)

                  Yes, which is why I'm running a multimillion dollar corporation and your name is Sir Putts-a-Lot.

                  Your name is Sir Putts-a-Lot.

                  [–]deltax20a 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  I am totally opening up a mini-golf course on the moon called SIR PUTTS-A-LOT MOON GOLF.

                  Home of the "Hole in None" where you'll never get it in there in the first place. HA HA... low gravity.

                  [–]Loqol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Only multimillion? What happened? Did the repairs to BNK3R get to extensive?

                  [–][deleted] 167 points168 points  (9 children)

                  Did you ride Buttstallion to the top of Dragon Keep?

                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 780 points781 points  (5 children)

                  You're asking if I rode my diamond-encrusted horse to the top of an imaginary location inside a crazy little girl's head?

                  Yeah, good question, thanks for asking. Super glad I did this.

                  [–]Reamofqtips 9 points10 points  (2 children)

                  I thought Buttstallion wasn't covered in diamonds, but instead, made of actual diamond.

                  [–]Stolehtreb 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                  Maybe Handsome Jack isn't such a smart motherfucker afterall.

                  [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  The pony is made of solid diamond, then encrusted with other, faceted diamonds. So it's both super hard and nicely glittery.

                  [–]Hellz_Blazer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Forgot the part about you being dead.

                  [–]bwaredapenguin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  How do you even know about this?

                  [–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (2 children)

                  That was the Handsome Sorcerer in a completely made up game, DUH.

                  [–]B_For_Dyslexia 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                  Chill out, Tina

                  [–]ViaBlaze 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Boi! Don't make me get my two main squeezes on you.

                  [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 199 points200 points  (3 children)

                    "What if we made a sitcom about nerds"

                    [–]EnasniVolzMiss me, Sugar? 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                    "Yeah, but does anyone KNOW what nerds are like?" "I hear they like comics." "YEAH! And don't understand GIRLS!" "Perfect, lets do it."

                    [–]Melancholy9 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                    I love you jack.

                    [–]Mendicantbias00 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

                    Was that a "Bazinga!"?

                    [–]Smallestnoob 86 points87 points  (2 children)

                    I love you?

                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 173 points174 points  (1 child)

                    Good?

                    [–]Smallestnoob 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                    ok ok ok... follow up question... keep it cool me....hhhhhhh

                    Can I buy you flowers?

                    [–]MMX2 86 points87 points  (8 children)

                    Who do you think would win in a race: the Flash or Sonic the Hedgehog?

                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 346 points347 points  (7 children)

                    Sonic, because The Flash is a fictional character.

                    [–]DisablingNotion 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                    I think you mean Sanic, son.

                    [–]MMX2 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                    Ohboyohboyohboy, does this mean Sonic is canon? :D

                    [–]rival22x 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                    I hate to tell you this and but Hedgehog's are real and not one of them is going to tell you that there name isn't sonic.

                    [–]hulachan 83 points84 points  (1 child)

                    Is there anything funnier than a three-legged hamster walking on chopstick stilts?

                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 267 points268 points  (0 children)

                    Yes.

                    Your family dying

                    [–]diosamente 75 points76 points  (1 child)

                    Jack you Handsome bastard! How can I keep my skin smooth into my midlife without eridium? And are those cheekbones inherited or some sort of plastic surgery deal?

                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 185 points186 points  (0 children)

                    "Inherited" is such a flavorless word. "Forcibly removed from Eden-6's most famous actor and jammed into my jawline," I can get behind.

                    [–]sofakingreatI want to drown in your blood! 74 points75 points  (2 children)

                    Did you ever get better pretzels?

                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 169 points170 points  (1 child)

                    No.

                    Jesus goddamn wept.

                    [–]ContemplativeOctopus"the moral is: you're a total bitch" 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    Well if you didn't get pretzels at least you got wine tears.

                    [–]Mendicantbias00 73 points74 points  (6 children)

                    Will you be my dad?

                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 228 points229 points  (5 children)

                    Statistically speaking, I probably am anyway.

                    [–]Mendicantbias00 23 points24 points  (3 children)

                    Good, you owe me 32 years worth of Christmas and Birthday presents.

                    Jerk.

                    And a hug.

                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 60 points61 points  (2 children)

                    I'll give you a condescending non-compliment and a threatening glance.

                    Final offer.

                    [–]Mendicantbias00 26 points27 points  (0 children)

                    Deal.

                    [–]Mendicantbias00 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                    Also, I love you.

                    [–]ContemplativeOctopus"the moral is: you're a total bitch" 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    Handsome Khan? Is that you?

                    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

                      He's pretty ass at getting me stuff when I need it. And he's needlessly nice to bandits. And I'm pretty sure he wants to get me killed so he can take my job.

                      Actually, now that you mention it, that guy's a dick.

                      [–]seaatar 36 points37 points  (1 child)

                      Being such a handsome man as yourself, you must have the correct answer to this question.

                      Boxers or Briefs?

                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

                      Look, you may not know this, but when you start wearing designer clothes, you need to switch to tight boxer-brief combinations. Nobody wears briefs anymore, and boxers ride up so high that people can see them and you look silly.

                      It's like you've never talked to my personal stylist or something.

                      [–]RdJokrYou scratch your own nuts. 72 points73 points  (6 children)

                      On a scale of 1-10, how hot is Nisha?

                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 174 points175 points  (4 children)

                      I don't want to say. She might read this. That'd be weird. It's weird to say how hot you find someone, right? You have to be, like, cool about it.

                      So five? Like five? Or is that insulting?

                      Six?

                      [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 47 points48 points  (3 children)

                      Come on dude, you're Handsome Jack, not Awkward Jack. Tell her that you like the way she relentlessly murders people and that you would like to have a whole lot of sex with her. Hell, promise her she can be the Sheriff of a town on Pandora once you take over. She'll melt like butter. Right on to your junk!

                      UP HIGH!

                      o/

                      No?

                      Okay.

                      [–]CaptHunterTURN AROUND PRETTY LADY! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      Q

                      [–]MegaAlex 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                      Dude... run

                      [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                      Dude... run

                      Pfffft he didn't even respond. He said he hated me twice already and I'm still ali

                      [–]famouspants 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                      How hot was she? Right? Cause her face was somehow blasted off with a Maggie.

                      Not saying it was me.

                      Ok, it was me.

                      [–]SpecterGT260 37 points38 points  (2 children)

                      Mr. Jack, I have this recurring issue where I eat a sandwich and end up strangling on it a little bit. I'm told I just eat too fast and should chew more carefully to avoid strangling on my food. I think this is BS...

                      Any tips?

                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 80 points81 points  (1 child)

                      God, what is it with you people not knowing the difference between choking and strangulation?

                      [–]mchief75 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                      I thought this was your AMA, aren't we supposed to be asking you the questions?

                      [–]TheAnt06[🍰] 35 points36 points  (2 children)

                      How do I get to be like you? You know, the coolest dude in the whole universe with everything he wants

                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 82 points83 points  (1 child)

                      Pahahahahaahahaha

                      You don't.

                      [–]TheAnt06[🍰] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                      I'm going to go kill your daughter a whole bunch.

                      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

                        Cause my moonbase doesn't work like that.

                        Anymore.

                        Catch Borderlands The Pre-Sequel fever

                        [–]glenheartless 29 points30 points  (3 children)

                        after ultimate vault hunter there should be a new difficulty: Handsome vault hunter mode. Same with guns: Handsome guns! only drops from handsome badasses like yourself!

                        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 88 points89 points  (2 children)

                        A Handsome difficulty would mean nothing's ever difficult because you're perfect.

                        [–]Namnamex 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        But what of us that are less than perfect? Surely it would provide a challenge for use mortals

                        [–]One_more_pageHappy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Than we should have an Ugly difficulty, where everything one-shots you because they hate looking at that ugly face, there are no loot drops and the Handsome Jack boss fight one shots you so hard it deletes your save of that character... you know for a challenge.

                        [–]PhoenixMichi 62 points63 points  (7 children)

                        Which Vault Hunter would you want to turn into a cyborg like Wilhelm?

                        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 174 points175 points  (6 children)

                        Nisha. Her clench could be tighter.

                        [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 70 points71 points  (4 children)

                        Damn, did you just tell thousands of people that Nisha has a loose cooch?

                        I mean, it's your right to say what you want, but I dunno if she'd like it. Or who knows, maybe she would. She seems like a pretty cool chick. You know, for being a ruthless killer and gun-for-hire.

                        Since you brought up the subject, is it true that you can actually walk inside of Moxxi's love bucket?

                        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 180 points181 points  (2 children)

                        What? No. Her hand.

                        Jesus.

                        You're the worst.

                        [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 28 points29 points  (0 children)

                        Oh, so you have a strangulation fetish. I have a friend named Carol Crystal Cherlene Cheryl that you'd probably like a whole lot.

                        But what about Moxxi? Is it true?

                        And I'm really a nice guy once you get to know me. So put off the whole "shooting me in the face" thing for at least a little bit, and give me a chance.

                        [–]TrainerBlack2Call me Gundalf! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Welcome to the internet, Jack. Nothing but perverts and the occasional asshat.

                        [–]Kimimaro146 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        Hotdog down a skag den, y'know what I'm sayin'?

                        [–]PghDrake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Best. Answer. Here.

                        [–]zegleipnierI HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE 64 points65 points  (4 children)

                        I have a question for Mr Perfect! (That's you, baby)

                        Some.... people have spread rumors that you worked as a low level programmer at Hyperion.

                        If the rumor is true, what was your role in the company, and how did it help become so damn handsome?

                        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 127 points128 points  (3 children)

                        I definitely did. Not ashamed of it. Learned a lot. Hacked a lot of servers, got a lot of good juicy stuff on the board of directors. Watched a lot of porn on company bandwidth.

                        The best way to get outta that role, though, is to illegally commandeer a satellite and get evidence justifying your hunch that Pandora is a goddamn Eridium motherlode. I tell that to all my proteges. Just do that.

                        [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                        Brb, commandeering a satellite.

                        [–]ValdraxNumbers, numbers, math-math-math. 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        What products did you work on?

                        [–]zegleipnierI HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Handsome Jack-Senpai noticed me! My only wish is to live up to these expectations... I shall dedicate my time to getting you that motherlode, or die trying

                        [–]BlazurSup 111 points112 points  (5 children)

                        Hey H.Jack, I just want you to know that in the future I'm going to be the guy that kills you and foils all your plans. What do you have to say about that?

                        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 340 points341 points  (4 children)

                        Nothing, apart from the vaguely orgasmic grunts I'll be making as I crush your windpipe with my thumbs. And I guess the "oh wow, you're the best" noises your loved ones will be making as they cheer me on. And the sloppy, wet sound of me subsequently making out with your loved ones. And the sloppy, wet sound of me subsequently killing your loved ones.

                        [–]BlazurSup 11 points12 points  (1 child)

                        Of course you know this means war.

                        [–]sasquatch85 24 points25 points  (0 children)

                        Wet. Sloppy. War.

                        [–]Jimm607 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Jokes on you -- I don't have any loved ones.

                        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        I guess you enjoy sloppy, wet sounds.

                        [–]groovyskillz 84 points85 points  (8 children)

                        So, is Handsome legally part of your name? Or is it a title, like Doctor, or Professor? If So, would you kindly 'Handsome' me please?

                        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 241 points242 points  (5 children)

                        I don't respond to people who use BioShock references on me. BioShock was

                        [TRANSMISSION INTERCEPTED REWRITING MESSAGE TEXT]

                        BIOSHOCK IS A QUALITY PRODUCT BY 2K GAMES REALLY THE ENTIRE SERIES FROM BIOSHOCK TO BIOSHOCK 2 TO BIOSHOCK INFINITE TO THE RECENTLY ANNOUNCED BIOSHOCK ON THE IPAD ARE ALL QUALITY EXPERIENCES AND SHOULD BE A PART OF ANY TRUE GAMER'S COLLECTION

                        "WOULD YOU KINDLY" CATCH BIOSHOCK FEVER HA HA HA HA

                        But that's just my opinion, so whatever.

                        [–]One_more_pageHappy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 35 points36 points  (2 children)

                        Why is Torgue here promoting Bioshock?

                        [–]MMX2 15 points16 points  (1 child)

                        I want this to be canon now.

                        [–]One_more_pageHappy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        In Head-canon everything you want can be true.

                        [–]Daenyrig 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                        "Would you kindly" use your skills as a programmer to remove the marketing virus that garbled your message?

                        [–]aido727 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        Well that was an official cross over of weirdness...

                        [–]QQStkl 11 points12 points  (1 child)

                        I think you have the wrong Jack. "Would you kindly" won't work on this one. Nice try though!

                        [–]groovyskillz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                        Entirely unintentional but hey you don't know if you don't try!

                        [–]Stead 82 points83 points  (2 children)

                        Do you like my Tattoo? :p

                        www.tickld.com/pic/t/974265

                        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 162 points163 points  (1 child)

                        Yes. Now get a mirrored one on your other leg so they can kiss.

                        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                        [deleted]

                          [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 159 points160 points  (2 children)

                          Aw, you're cute.

                          Nah.

                          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                          [deleted]

                            [–]Riantiada 29 points30 points  (2 children)

                            what haircare regimen would you recommend to make one's hair strong enough to strangle people with?

                            for science, you know. or whatever.

                            [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 66 points67 points  (1 child)

                            Well, there's something I didn't know I was into until 30 seconds ago.

                            [–]Riantiada 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            ;)

                            [–]KarmaBear184 26 points27 points  (1 child)

                            What makes you the biggest badass?

                            [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

                            My refusal to give direct answers to questions.

                            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                            [deleted]

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 55 points56 points  (1 child)

                              It was about all of us.

                              [–]Taskhill 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                              mind...blown. I think you just completely changed my world view

                              [–][deleted] 73 points74 points  (4 children)

                              Does slag run thru your veins?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 173 points174 points  (3 children)

                              If by "slag" you mean "a cocktail of coffee, hard drugs and some bandit saliva thanks to that one time I left my turbolimo for eight seconds on a quick visit to Pandora" then yeah, sure, slag.

                              [–]SableHAWKXIII 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                              But Jack! Are you saying you condone the use of controlled substances? (I mean bandit saliva?!! What the hell man) Think of the children!

                              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                              Think of the children!

                              How do you think he got the saliva?

                              [–]DorkJediWhat? Like anal? 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                              We now have the recipe for slag.

                              [–]AshuraVonXacto 25 points26 points  (1 child)

                              Any advice on killing a man with a spoon?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

                              Wear goggles.

                              [–]dabrules 88 points89 points  (9 children)

                              Where the hell do you buy a diamond horse?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 283 points284 points  (3 children)

                              If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

                              [–]oniiesu(360) 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                              Listen, I don't care about affording it. A man sees what he wants; a man TAKES what he wants, by any means necessary. I assume diamond ponies wouldn't be affected by fire, so point me in the right direction and I will test my theory as soon as I get there.

                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              Reminds me of the $1000000000000000000000000000000000 laptop.

                              [–]SirPutts-a-lot 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                              *Pony

                              [–]vestby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                              Butt stallion*

                              [–]XaviusGaming 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                              The same place you can get a ZJ

                              [–]ashhhhjx 22 points23 points  (1 child)

                              Would you say strangulation is something you do to get a job done or is it an underlying kink as well?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

                              "Or" is an interesting word to use.

                              [–]inhaikuispeak 64 points65 points  (5 children)

                               When are we going
                               To get Borderlands: Handsome
                               Jack is a Badass
                              

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 127 points128 points  (3 children)

                              I pitched that as the subtitle for Pre-Sequel, but nobody goddamn listens to me.

                              [–]MadModderX 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                              People can't listen when they're dead Jack...

                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              I'll be willing to donate some ammunition.

                              [–]mandalorkael 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              I'd pay so much money for that game.

                              [–]roses269 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              I read this in Z3r0's voice.

                              [–]HeeroJaytwitch.tv/heerojay 20 points21 points  (3 children)

                              Jack, love your company.

                              More of a personal dilemma here regarding The Pre-Sequel. All my friends plan on getting it on Xbox 360, but I'm more of a PC guy (owning both, I like the mouse and keyboard experience better). Current budget concerns will sadly only allow me to purchase one copy.

                              You seem like the kind of guy that would do what's best for him regardless of the people around him, but should I get the 360 version to play with friends, or the PC version to enjoy my own way myself?

                              Thanks.

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 67 points68 points  (2 children)

                              Depends on how much you like your friends. I've never been close enough with anyone to justify using a stupid controller over the fine-tuned precision of a mouse and keyboard, but hey, if you wanna live your life by making compromises, you can totally do that.

                              [–]Jomy582I heard there was Anarchy 22 points23 points  (1 child)

                              ....Handsome Jack confirmed glorious leader of /r/pcmasterrace?

                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 18 points19 points  (1 child)

                              I hear you like women in cowboy hats... how do you feel about whips? ;)

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

                              Yep. This is all working for me.

                              [–]kitttykatzThis jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                              Of these, which is your preferred Brad Pitt film and why?

                              • Se7en

                              • Fight Club

                              • Inglorious Basterds

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

                              Fight Club. I model most of my life off his abs.

                              [–]datlinus 37 points38 points  (3 children)

                              what's your opinion on Anthony Burch?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 105 points106 points  (2 children)

                              Brown.

                              [–]Mendicantbias00 19 points20 points  (0 children)

                              So deep. Much succinct. Very color.

                              [–]Whiskey_ShiversMan Killer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                              Your Netflix is in the mail

                              [–]Renzocooken 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                              Jack, I want to be a big damn hero just like you. Any tips?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

                              -Kill bad guys

                              -Use conditioner

                              -Actually that's it

                              [–]detroitdecay 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                              Drugs or Murder?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

                              Murder.

                              Drugs are illegal.

                              [–]mrmccarthy90 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                              What is the air velocity of an unladen swallow?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

                              God.

                              [–]NotSoCoolWhip 56 points57 points  (8 children)

                              Hello. I have been playing the Borderlands series for a while now and I would like to say thank you for making my favorite game series of all time. My question is: I see lots of allusions to homosexuality and same sex marriage, and I was wondering, is same sex marriage legal on Pandora?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 157 points158 points  (6 children)

                              Yeah. What, it's not legal where you come from?

                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 14 points15 points  (1 child)

                              And you thought Pandora was bad!

                              [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

                              Everyone is equally slaughtered on Pandora!

                              [–]NotSoCoolWhip 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                              Some places just aren't as nice as pandora I guess

                              [–]DigbyMayorShoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                              I think this is the nicest answer here.

                              [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                              The funny thing is it sort of puts it in perspective.

                              [–]camelCasingI AM THE GOD OF DAMAGE! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                              Our world is pretty primitive sometimes.

                              [–]RanstafleNailed It! 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                              You say that like Pandora has laws

                              [–]likwidstylezAll The Pain!!! 54 points55 points  (9 children)

                              How awesome was it to steal Moxxi away from that loser Mordecai?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 205 points206 points  (8 children)

                              Ah, man. So good. He was crying, right? But he's got those goggle things. So they actually filled up with tears and he had to take em off for a second and splooosh, all these tears just dumped out at the same time like two little buckets of pathetic sadness.

                              What a baby. Glad his bird's dead.

                              [–]DigbyMayorShoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 70 points71 points  (0 children)

                              Your timelines are fucked up.

                              [–]Hellz_Blazer 8 points9 points  (2 children)

                              Big talk, for someone who is also dead.

                              [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                              Hey now. At most points is the timeline of reality, you're dead. In fact, I'd say at pretty much all of them. What matters is the number of asses we kicked, how hard, and with how much goddamned style, because THAT is the road to immortality.

                              [–]AustinPowersFarscher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                              You don't think that the freaking CEO of Hyperion would be hooked up to their own reconstructive system? Silly man

                              [–]freemustardthis is one of them moments 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                              WHERE DOES THIS AMA TAKE PLACE IN THE TIMELINE

                              [–]fourdots 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                              Whenever is funniest at the moment.

                              [–]theblackfool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              Ouch.

                              [–]johnsciarrino 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              splooosh AMA over.

                              [–]gio1087 18 points19 points  (2 children)

                              Whats your favorite place in Borderlands?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 48 points49 points  (1 child)

                              My turbomansion. There's a swimming pool roughly the size of an eighty-three person orgy.

                              Well, eighty-two. One of the dudes left halfway through when we made eye contact for too long.

                              [–]AprilMari 17 points18 points  (2 children)

                              Hey, Handsome Jack! First & foremost, I have to say that you are absolutely brilliant & I love you to pieces.

                              Question, what is your bed time routine? The public needs to know so they can follow suit & attempt to look as flawless as you.

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 44 points45 points  (1 child)

                              • Remove mask
                              • Make out with Nisha for an hour
                              • Stuff gets graphic
                              • Shower
                              • Second shower
                              • Antibacterial rinse
                              • Sleep

                              [–]AprilMari 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                              Two showers & a antibacterial rinse? Goddamn. Murdering people plus sexy time with Nisha is a good enough excuse for all of that.

                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 20 points21 points  (1 child)

                              Did Moxxi ever try to take you home to meet her family? If so, I'm sorry.

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

                              No, we were on pretty clear terms about not meeting the others' family. Which probably saved me a skin disease, and her a really violent and sudden death.

                              [–]FuzzBall87 18 points19 points  (1 child)

                              I heard a rumor that when you were a teenager, you were actually "Ugly Jack," but as you had a face lift to become "Handsome Jack," is that true?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

                              No. That didn't happen. Definitely did not happen. That is a thing you made up and you didn't hear it from anyone and it's made up. You asshole. I'm tracking your IP now.

                              [–][deleted] 56 points57 points  (4 children)

                              When you killed Roland, how the he'll did your first shot even hit him? And how did it just ignore his shield?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 162 points163 points  (3 children)

                              My gun is super sick.

                              Also I lost it between killing Roland and waking the Warrior.

                              Also shut up.

                              [–]DANNYonPC 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                              Myth goes, that some silly vaulthunter is still searching for Handsome glorious Jack's Gun

                              [–]shibbypwn 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                              Roland doesn't know how health gating works

                              [–]Delta_Plus 16 points17 points  (2 children)

                              Where exactly are you while guiding your vault hunting heroes on their noble quest to save the world?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 37 points38 points  (1 child)

                              Turbomansion.

                              [–]Delta_Plus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                              I should have known

                              [–]Born2Hula91 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                              What would you say to someone who prefers Jakobs over Hyperion weapons?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

                              What'd you think of this latest season of Big Bang Theory?

                              [–]halo_dudette 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                              If you're in the market for a new personal assistant, I promise I'd bring you the best pretzels ever. Or the best of whatever you want. Running a corporation is a lot like being a king, so why settle for less?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

                              I like the way you think. Bring me some hot chocolate, and two replacement assistants just in case it isn't the perfect temperature when I sip it.

                              [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

                              Are there any songs in particular you like to strangle to?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 45 points46 points  (1 child)

                              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                              I honestly don't know why I'm surprised you like Taylor Swift.

                              [–]Necrorider 47 points48 points  (3 children)

                              Your favorite dick joke?

                              Edit: And no, your own is not an acceptable answer

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 158 points159 points  (0 children)

                              "The person who asked me this question"

                              [–]thewalexHyperion Science Divsion Rookie 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                              This is also a great dick joke!

                              [–]cybersteel8Hotdog down a skag den, know what I'm sayin'? 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                              Holy shit that is funny.

                              [–]Everton1992 15 points16 points  (1 child)

                              What do you think of the most charismatic character is claptrap?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

                              I'm really glad that sentence was as grammatically screwed up as it was, because if you were going to unironically use the words "claptrap" and "charismatic" in the same sentence I would have jumped through my monitor and stuck my fist so far up your nose I could karate chop your brain.

                              [–]spectralconfetti 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                              Any wizard problems on Elpis?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

                              Only one.

                              He is the worst.

                              [–]innerGaaraXbox 360 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                              Least favorite vault hunter that isn't Roland?! Go!

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

                              Brick. He made the most annoying blubbering noise when Nisha killed his dog.

                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 15 points16 points  (2 children)

                              What's your hidden talent?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 46 points47 points  (1 child)

                              Answering dumb getting-to-know-you questions in a way that completely quashes any attempt for followup conversation.

                              [–]One_more_pageHappy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                              And how often does that skill come up on a day-to-day basis?

                              [–]0verload6 15 points16 points  (1 child)

                              After finishing the Moonbase, whats your plan to deal with the town of Ovejas, and more importantly, the immortal god-like being that protects it, Salvador?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

                              Oh, gee, maybe I'll open negotiations with them and try to come to a peaceful concpfffffff

                              I'm gonna burn it to cinders from space, you doofus.

                              [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

                              whats some life advice you would give a young man thats unsure what to do in life ?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

                              Start buying expensive clothes and pretend you know what you're doing.

                              And stop watching porn.

                              And buy Hyperion guns.

                              [–]Mugikun 14 points15 points  (1 child)

                              Pirates or Ninjas?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

                              Whichever one is better at killing people who speak entirely in internet memes.

                              [–]jhanjria 17 points18 points  (1 child)

                              Did you ever want to be a vault hunter, when you were young maybe?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

                              Nah. When I was a kid, Vault Hunters were a weird thing your parents warned you about becoming. Like, "go to school, or you'll become a Vault Hunter just running around begging for money and ammo." "Do your chores, or you'll be out on the street demanding your loot fix." "Don't try to kill your grandmother while she sleeps." Just crap like that.

                              [–]Greyfox643I need it dead in 1 shot or less 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                              Your transition from a Hyperion employee to The Savior of Pandora was a bit shocking to say the least. If you could do it all over again, what would you have changed about your Rise to Power and Handsomeness?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

                              Wouldn't have used Claptrap as a bodyguard. Would have killed Roland and Lilith the second I met them.

                              Would have stopped watching porn way earlier.

                              [–]Bastilon 60 points61 points  (3 children)

                              Holy nutballs! What happened to your frickin' face?!

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 142 points143 points  (2 children)

                              Oh, we're -- we're doing a thing where you say things. That I said.

                              To me.

                              That's...that's cute.

                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                              Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Too bad for Bastilon, on Elpis it also gets you killed.

                              [–]loonyduck1I could wait for you to finish talking... 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              Godammit is Nisha runnin that place now along with killing everyone?

                              [–]HallowedVileplume"Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now..?" 15 points16 points  (1 child)

                              What is your favorite Hyperion weapon, if you had to choose?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

                              My abs.

                              [–]ManOWar57 30 points31 points  (1 child)

                              What's your opinion on bands like "Cage the Elephant" or "The Heavy?"

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

                              They aren't Taylor Swift, so not super interested.

                              [–]nicknamekb 12 points13 points  (1 child)

                              Where were you during the events of the first borderlands?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

                              My desk. With my second monitor tuned to the satellite I launched at Pandora.

                              [–]Dannerz 11 points12 points  (2 children)

                              What is you middle name?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 48 points49 points  (1 child)

                              "Newustationsarentcanon"

                              It's German.

                              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                              Why even have a middle name if it's not going to be referenced in every day conversation? Just for aesthetics? Pah.

                              [–]CarefullyFalling 13 points14 points  (1 child)

                              I literally made an account just for this. Hi! As for my question, what do you like on sandwiches?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

                              I'm a simple man. Bologna, cheese and diamond dust.

                              [–]take_it_in_striderSMOKIN JESUS TITTY CINNAMON THAT THING IS A MONSTARRRRR 52 points53 points  (4 children)

                              For the love of Christ, why does it take Hyperion weapons an entire clip just to aim correctly?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 134 points135 points  (3 children)

                              Better question: why are you so goddamn impatient that you think the world needs to give you exactly what you want right this second?

                              Maybe stop and smell the goddamn flowers and appreciate the goddamn headshots when they goddamn come.

                              [–]take_it_in_striderSMOKIN JESUS TITTY CINNAMON THAT THING IS A MONSTARRRRR 22 points23 points  (1 child)

                              That's what I get for not using a Jakobs.

                              [–]DigbyMayorShoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                              I AM NOT WITH HIM!

                              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                              Well, Jack.. Come on.. I can't wait forever to shoot someone. When they are coming at me with a buzzaxe.

                              [–]rocketboy287 13 points14 points  (1 child)

                              Have you ever considered fighting with the vault hunters instead of trying to kill them?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

                              You're stupid.

                              [–]Namnamex 13 points14 points  (1 child)

                              Who gave you the most enjoyment when you watched them die?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

                              You, a couple hours from now.

                              [–]Chaogod2369 36 points37 points  (7 children)

                              Who would you cast to play as you in a movie about you?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 103 points104 points  (6 children)

                              Dameon Clarke.

                              [–]Namnamex 7 points8 points  (4 children)

                              Do you really think that he is handsome enough?

                              [–]Reamofqtips 16 points17 points  (3 children)

                              Who cares? Have you heard the guys voice? It's like cherubs having sex.

                              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                              ... You've heard this before?

                              [–]Reamofqtips 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                              I can neither confirm nor deny.

                              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                              Too suspicious.

                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                              Good choice.

                              [–]Aku230 34 points35 points  (1 child)

                              Why Europe and Australia have to wait longer to play your great game?

                              [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

                              Imperialism.

                              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                              [deleted]

                                [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

                                "Come here so I can throw you at intruders"

                                [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                                Be honest... did you program the malware into vaulthunter.exe for laughs?

                                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                IT'S NOT MALWARE IT'S A FEATURE.

                                [–]B_For_Dyslexia 31 points32 points  (2 children)

                                How is Butt Stallion doing?

                                [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 116 points117 points  (1 child)

                                Dead.

                                Nah, just kidding. Wanted to see the people who run the wiki freak out for a second.

                                [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                                rolls back over-eager edit cascade

                                [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                                [deleted]

                                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

                                  Oh.

                                  Oh, okay.

                                  [–]Sean_Wolf 9 points10 points  (2 children)

                                  What would be your dream weapon to kill the vault hunters with?

                                  [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

                                  My thumbs.

                                  [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                                  The Mountain is strong with this one.

                                  [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                                  [deleted]

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

                                    What, like where she's buried?

                                    No.

                                    [–]dreamingsilence 10 points11 points  (2 children)

                                    Why call yourself Jack? Isnt your name John?

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

                                    Pretty weird that internet searches exist, huh? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_(given_name)

                                    [–]dreamingsilence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                    You should have a word with Wikipedia. They don't seem to list you as a notable person with the given name Jack.

                                    [–]Loqol 11 points12 points  (4 children)

                                    Just noticed you mentioned Taylor Swift.

                                    How frustrated were you the first time "Shake it Off" got stuck in your head?

                                    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

                                    Frustrated? Why would anyone be frustrated? It's just music.

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 46 points47 points  (1 child)

                                    Just music?

                                    I hope your family abandons you.

                                    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                    Woah man, you're getting the wrong idea. I LOVE Taylor Swift, to the point that I will sacrifice my first child in order to keep her pumping out albums.

                                    [–]Loqol 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    An ear worm that takes hold better than a wormhole thresher, that is why.

                                    [–]trebor2point0 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                                    Hey Handsome! Do you think you look more like your mom or dad?

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

                                    Mom, I guess? Don't really have a frame of reference for my dad.

                                    [–]Ikealtea 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                                    I was just wondering, you sent your CL4P-TP bot out to a frozen wasteland to clear bodies after train explosions. Does this mean you have done this before? And if so, how much of Hyperion's money have you recklessly spent on kamikaze trains?

                                    [–]HelixDnB 19 points20 points  (2 children)

                                    Have you ever used Butt Stallion for Polo?

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 58 points59 points  (1 child)

                                    I tried once, but she kindasorta bucked me off and tried to stab me with her horns. You know what's some real bull? When you buy a diamond pony and the thing doesn't even like being enslaved and ridden.

                                    Like what

                                    [–]Jarl__BallinCritical, bitch! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                    I hate when that happens.

                                    [–]Mendicantbias00 20 points21 points  (1 child)

                                    What happened to you to make you so insanely violent?

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

                                    Starts with "P", ends with "-andora."

                                    [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 18 points19 points  (4 children)

                                    What's your last name, anyway?

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 75 points76 points  (3 children)

                                    No, it's not "anyway."

                                    Hahahaha.

                                    Screw you, I can make dad jokes.

                                    [–]KaiserBearMy Siren's name is Brick, and she is the prettiest. 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                                    To be fair, you -are- a dad.

                                    Well...... were.

                                    [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                                    Damn it! And here I was being so careful!

                                    (I have this headcanon where your last name is Polish, so until further notice you're going to be Polish... congratulations :P)

                                    [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                                    Handsome Jack Kowalski

                                    Definitely sounds like a 1930's gang leader.

                                    [–]TheBetasaurRequesting Salute Support 18 points19 points  (2 children)

                                    Are you hiring?

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 43 points44 points  (1 child)

                                    Always. If you've got a face that can absorb at least one bullet, there'll always be a spot for you on the Hyperion team.

                                    [–]SirCabbage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                    Hey, it is possible to sign up for that job only after the warrior has been killed at least 2-3 times? Also i'd love to be stationed somewhere nice, like a prison that most people seem to miss even exploring! That'd be awesome, how does one pick up a gig like that?

                                    [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 16 points17 points  (3 children)

                                    Why would Moxxi cheat on someone like you? You're a catch and a half! ;)

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

                                    Look at you, flirting up a storm. Keep it up, I may reconsider killing ya.

                                    Nah, I'm not gonna reconsider that. But we're having fun. It's fun.

                                    [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                    Moxxi straight up dumped him. Her loss. I mean, seriously? You don't dump Handsome Jack. She probably did it by text, too. What a bitch.

                                    [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    Meh, I hope she enjoys her life scarfing down hamburgers for cash :P

                                    [–]BeardedFella 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                                    Pew Pew or Bang Bang?

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

                                    Bang Bang. "Pew Pew" is an internet meme.

                                    We all know how I feel about internet memes.

                                    [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                                    What is your thought on the ever growing space cowboy fad that is ruining Pandora's economic system and putting the planet in a damn near recession because everyone is starting to quit their jobs, arming themselves to the teeth, and going around looking for mythological vaults like my Aunt Judith looking for a tortilla chip in one of her fat folds. IT'S NOT THERE JUDY, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU LOOK THE CHIP HAS GONE AWOL AND WILL NEVER RETURN...

                                    Sorry, got a little carried away there.

                                    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                                    1. Conference Call, Interfacer or Butcher?
                                    2. Why did you decide to get rid of the red color scheme that Hyperion guns used to have?
                                    3. Did you design Saturn and if yes, how did you come up with the name "Saturn"?
                                    4. Why did Hyperion stop making assault rifles and rocket launchers?
                                    5. Have you ever considered making acid-resistant loaders in order to combat their main weakness?
                                    6. What do you think of the arena battles that Captain Cabrera runs in the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve?

                                    [–]schaef87 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                                    What is your favorite breakfast food?

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

                                    Protein shake. With two raw eggs cracked into it. Then an Insanity video.

                                    I like Shaun T's style.

                                    [–]ChikenWing27 14 points15 points  (1 child)

                                    What is the best hair care product for a horse? You must know because butt stallion has beautiful luscious hair

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

                                    Windex

                                    [–]GruntOfAction 13 points14 points  (3 children)

                                    Two questions:

                                    1) Why are you so damn handsome?

                                    2) (Will we be able to play as you in a future DLC in the Presequel? :D )

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

                                    1. Because the universe rewards good and kind people.
                                    2. Shut up, idiot.

                                    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                    What would jack do? Run at the enemies? Congrats we can play as Dr. Morbis now!

                                    [–]Nearokins 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                    Well, considering body double is confirmed dlc already

                                    [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

                                    Hi Jack, any secrets for climbing the corporate ladder you'd be willing to share for us aspiring executives? Not that I want to take your job or anything. Please don't strangle me.

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

                                    The corporate ladder is for chumps. Use the corporate express elevator that runs on the blood of dead executives. It's way faster and you get to listen to sweet muzak.

                                    [–]Redwolfmoon99F*CK THE LEGAL WAIVER! You're in TORGUE LAND now, sucker! 12 points13 points  (5 children)

                                    Hey, you! Why are Hyperion guns such rubbish? Sure they may have above average stats some of the time, but their inaccuracy when first firing out of them makes me waste my first few bullets on aiming close to the enemy until the cone tightens. Yeah, nice slogan: "What use is a gun that does not shoot where you point? Get a gun that is as accurate as you are." What a load of bull! Your sniper rifles are absolutely useless as the sway makes them pretty much impossible to aim unless I wanted to wait an extra 2 seconds for it to stop swaying. The Fibber, supposedly Hyperion's newest innovation, would've been a much better gun if it was made by any other company. Hell I'll even take a Tediore Fibber!

                                    • Sincerely, Raigen (Fed up with inferior Hyperion trash).

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 37 points38 points  (2 children)

                                    Here are some tips to get the most out of Hyperion firearms:

                                    • Suck less

                                    • The loud end is supposed to point TOWARD your enemies

                                    • Actually, nevermind

                                    • Just put your face in front of the barrel

                                    • Okay try it now

                                    • It should work great

                                    [–]BEALLOJODid that guy just speak in haiku? 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                                    It would still miss the first 15 shots.

                                    [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                    Hyperion guns... they're great, but they're (thankfully!) not idiot proof. Saves you a hell of a lot of trouble later.

                                    [–]hyperhiromu 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                                    ooooohh, shots fired.

                                    [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                                    But they keep missing until about the 4th or 5th.

                                    [–]NamatophobicAiming? What is that? 4 points5 points  (2 children)

                                    Laser guns and Cryo guns don't seem to be popular at all on Pandora despite their use on Elpis. What happened?

                                    [–]lynxSDMF 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                                    read his twitter page and he explains it all

                                    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    "Cryo runs on liquid methane that evaporates in most non-Elpis climates, and laser guns crumple thanks to Pandora’s atmospheric pressure."

                                    [–]TypicalTyrian 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                                    You bang Nisha?

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

                                    "Bang" is an interesting choice of words, given that russian roulette is involved.

                                    [–]loarfy 11 points12 points  (2 children)

                                    what is your action skill

                                    [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                                    Strangulation.

                                    [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

                                    What's your favorite video game?

                                    [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

                                    Diamond Mercenaries 2. I summon my buddies all the time just so I can shoot em in the back of the head.

                                    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                                    [deleted]

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

                                      No you can't, and no she didn't.

                                      [–]EvilHuntz 15 points16 points  (1 child)

                                      Did you ever expect Jack to get this popular?

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

                                      Did I, Jack, expect me, Jack to get popular?

                                      Yes. Because I actualize my goddamn goals.

                                      [–]LegenWaitForIt_ 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                                      Would you rather cut off your hair or not be able to strangle people?

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

                                      I got rich so I wouldn't have to make these kind of decisions.

                                      [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

                                      Handsome Jack, my name is Eddy and I will do ANYTHING to be canon. What would you like? Pizza? Yours. Take over Pandora? I will work endlessly until it's yours. Kill Hitler? Way ahead of you. I even made it look like a suicide so it wouldn't be traced to you. Keep Hitler alive? Too late. Sorry. I won't do anything without your okay EVER again! What can I do to be borderlands canon!?!

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 40 points41 points  (1 child)

                                      I woulda made you canon if not for mentioning Hitler.

                                      On Pandora, we had MegaRoboHitler. Your failure to know that is a shame you will have to bear for the rest of your life.

                                      [–]Samocoptor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                                      MegaRoboHitler confirmed for final Pre-Sequel boss.

                                      [–]shay1123 10 points11 points  (3 children)

                                      Hey Handsome Jack. So glad you're with us from the afterlife.

                                      How's Buttstallion holding up? Any word on finding some better pretzels?

                                      Oh and sorry about Angel, she would have made a powerful ally to the Resistance, had you not pumped her full of Eridium like that.

                                      Many <3's! Your favorite Vault Hunter, @Shayblez

                                      Can't wait to play through the prequel!

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 46 points47 points  (2 children)

                                      You are actually my least favorite person.

                                      [–]shay1123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      No need to be so spiteful! I loved our little one on one chats while you tried to kill me all the time. They were rather sweet of you and an insight to the man you really are beneath that mask.

                                      [–]shay1123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      Believe it or not, do you remember the guy you killed with spoons? The act itself disgusted me and made me hate you dearly, but your delivery of that event was a class act. I actually applaud you for that. curtsies gracefully

                                      [–]Mugikun 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                                      Why don't you grow a full beard? Wouldn't that be manlier?

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

                                      I don't know, do you define manliness by your ability to frighten away attractive women?

                                      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

                                      How does you pick up girls jack? Do you tell them about butt stallion? or what do you do?

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

                                      I make eye contact.

                                      [–]mutten006 9 points10 points  (2 children)

                                      Do you plan on creating a line of Butt Stallions to create dominance over the luxury horse market?

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

                                      Yes. That's phase two.

                                      You're not classified to know about phase three.

                                      [–]mutten006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      Have you thought of created diamond huskies? For the less temperate zones?

                                      [–]Alan150003 9 points10 points  (2 children)

                                      Do you like Dragonball Z? I wonder what your favorite character would be... probably Cell.

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 33 points34 points  (1 child)

                                      Wrong. Bulma.

                                      You idiot.

                                      [–]XStreamGamer247Have you met me? I look like a fist with hair stapled to it. 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      The dickish inventor, huh? Seems familiar.

                                      [–]chaseon 11 points12 points  (3 children)

                                      Heya Jack. Whatsup man?

                                      On a scale of 1 - 10 how handsome are you?

                                      Do you like my tattoo? http://i.imgur.com/n6Gj9av.jpg

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 25 points26 points  (2 children)

                                      That tattoo isn't a picture of my face.

                                      3/10.

                                      [–]loarfy -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

                                      did you just rate yourself a three on the handsome scale

                                      [–]that4chanuser 12 points13 points  (5 children)

                                      Will Handsome Jack show up in BL3?

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 47 points48 points  (4 children)

                                      I'm not gonna answer your question, I just thought it'd be funny to use this space to mention how I'm not gonna reply to hyperionmoonbase's question.

                                      [–]hyperionmoonbase 20 points21 points  (3 children)

                                      ...oh

                                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                                      Get handsomely rekt, m8.

                                      [–]hyperionmoonbase 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                                      Well, at least this sorta-kinda-canonically means Handsome Jack recognizes I exist, which is a wonderful (and also life-threatening) thing!

                                      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                      Shouldn't you be sending me a Fast-Travel station right about now?

                                      [–]thestarlessconcord 13 points14 points  (2 children)

                                      Where the hell did ou even get buttstallion from, i mean, what company even sells diamond horses/ponys.

                                      [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 34 points35 points  (1 child)

                                      Stop asking this question or I will make literally every person's computer explode.

                                      [–]Mendicantbias00 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                      Make me.

                                      [–][deleted]  (5 children)

                                      [deleted]

                                        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 85 points86 points  (3 children)

                                        No. I may kill a lot of people, but I'm not a goddamn turd.

                                        [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

                                        This is absolutely the finest response of a cornucopic trove of fine responses. Next time I find myself in the Warrior's Vault I'm just gonna huck myself into the lava and then delete the save out of respect for what a class act you really are.

                                        [–]DigbyMayorShoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                        Ssssshhh... He doesn't know the future like us...

                                        [–]EnasniVolzMiss me, Sugar? 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                        What, NOW you show some class?

                                        [–]Recke89 12 points13 points  (3 children)

                                        Hey Jack, big fan, you're gorgeous by the way

                                        My question is, if Hyperion was out to kill the vault hunters so badly, why did Hyperion allow the vault hunters to use the, "New-U" stations?

                                        Thanks for doing this, toodles!

                                        [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

                                        Oh, look! It's the best first sentence to a question followed by the worst possible second sentence. I guess I'll give you a million dollars before I burn your house down with you in it? That'd be appropriate.

                                        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                        Capitalism, duh!

                                        [–]AxeWorldNOW BLOW UP THE OCEAN!!! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                        To afford better pretzels! DUH!

                                        [–]BordersRanger01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                        So how old are you exactly ?

                                        [–]loarfy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                        what happened to angel's mom? if you're up to talking about it, i mean

                                        [–]HyperionHottie69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                        what drew you to nisha? her good looks? her bloodlust?

                                        [–]CloudStrife159 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                        I'm sure Handsome Jack isn't Smelly Jack -- What scent is your cologne?

                                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                        Hola Jack, wouldn't it be kinda cool if some dudes made a game where you are the villain? In my mind you'd be kinda like Darth Vader but 15x funnier, 200x more ruthless and without some weirdish mask that cover that handsome face. But of course the "heroes" make it all the way to your inner chambers and you shoot them in the skulls, THE END. Can't you make it happen?

                                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                        Wanna go out for some meilkshakes?

                                        [–]Senhorze 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                        Hey Jack, First time dad here. Do you have any tips about parenting?

                                        [–]VexedEgo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                        So I recently purchased a diamond horse of my own and have noticed certain... errr problems with her. Has Buttstallion been getting into your eridium stash and leaving... ummm..... weapons as droppings? I find my horse keeps getting into my stash of eridium. Or are you just going to kill me because I have a stash of eridium?

                                        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                                        [removed]

                                          [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 20 points21 points  (1 child)

                                          A shovel and a flashlight, for starters.

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I hate you.

                                          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                                          Hello Mr. Jack,

                                          Since you mentioned it. What is your opinion on Taylor Swift?

                                          [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                                          Are Moxxi's tits real?

                                          Slightly related: Is she into butt-stuff?

                                          [–]qwertytarr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Have you and Mr. Torgue ever been boogie boarding? Don't lie, it's unbecoming.

                                          [–]LunarFalcon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          I guess that this is a two part question.

                                          1: What is the average day like in your life at Hyperion?

                                          2: How will you be combating the Vault Hunter menace currently threatening Pandora? I've heard some incredibly alarming news about baby eating being committed by these villains on Hyperion Truth Broadcasting and I fear for my family.

                                          [–]theicedragoona 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Hi Handsome Jack! Looking good! Thanks for doing an ama!

                                          Where do I sign up to help torture people - I mean, experiment with slag?

                                          [–]Bam-BamBoyles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          whats your favorite way to kill a savage?

                                          [–]Lord21K 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Jack, what's your favourite ice cream flavour and why?

                                          Also, you are my favourite villain of all time. I love you.

                                          [–]TedioreTony 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Dearest Jack I was just wondering how come when I throw your Hyperion guns they just bop my foes in the face then lay on the ground useless? I don't even get a new digi-structed gun... I really don't understand.

                                          [–]kitttykatzThis jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Marry, bang, kill:

                                          • Ellie

                                          • Athena

                                          • Lilith

                                          See what I did there?! You thought I'd be all Moxxi and Nisha and stuff. But no! Too easy. You're not stupid, you're advanced.

                                          [–]Lemnis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Would these pretzels suffice? http://imgur.com/qI5Mxo0

                                          Also please don't kill me.

                                          [–]WebHead1287 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          So ever since you told me to jump off that cliff and I did my friends have been calling me a bitch. Can you make them stop?

                                          [–]kitttykatzThis jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          You mentioned that you're involved with branding. So you help name Hyperion-manufactured weapons, right? The naming of your guns has always been a favorite -- so consistent and determinedly corporate.

                                          As example, I love the name Concerence Call, especially with its tagline "Let's just ping everyone all at once." Too perfect.

                                          Do you have any favorites?

                                          And did you like any names that were left on the editing room floor?

                                          Oh, and do you run focus groups? Can't imagine that's fun.

                                          [–]JakeStone98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Why is it that you were able to obtain an alien key with the power to awaken a giant lava monster, yet you cannot get a good bag of pretzels?

                                          [–]Snowskeeper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Y'know, I understand not wanting to admit Jakobs has good guns, but why not just assassinate their CEO, take over the company, and make a line of Hyperion guns that are just Jakobs guns with a Hyperion paint-job? That way you could make money off of both extremes: low damage, low rate of fire and low accuracy for your Hyperion guns, and high damage, high rate of fire and high accuracy for your totally-not-Jakobs guns!

                                          [–]ZijienWe'll all go together! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                          Whisky?

                                          [–]theBoxy_Butcher 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                                          I just want to say that I am truly sorry about your daughter. She seemed like a pretty nice gal. How are you coping with her passing? Do you need a hug?

                                          [–]Loqol 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                                          I think we all learned that getting within arms reach of Jack is a dangerous idea.

                                          Then again, range isn't going to be much safer.

                                          [–]theBoxy_Butcher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                          Even a super-villain.... I mean, the world's most powerful man! Even the world's most powerful man need a hug every now and then. But point taken!

                                          [–]Scaket 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          What's your favourite element and why is it explosive?

                                          [–]hyperionmoonbase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Dear Mr. Jack, I tweeted you about a month ago, and you did not respond. Needless to say, I found myself hurt and confused. What do you have to say for yourself?

                                          [–]zoson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Why did claptrap lie to us about not being able to climb stairs?

                                          [–]ValdraxNumbers, numbers, math-math-math. 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                                          How did you, as a lowly programmer, get the budget for hiring four Vault Hunters, running a satellite, and taking care of Angel?

                                          [–]deltax20a 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Mobile game clones?

                                          [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          He was blackmailing and manipulating his way to the top of Hyperion the whole time. He had plenty of ways to get what he wanted. Plus, you don't hire a Vault Hunter. You tell them about the Vault, they hunt for it. They buy your guns, and pay you for respawns when they die. Hell, they might even unintentionally off someone you don't like.

                                          [–]The_Rocker_Mack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          What is your favorite gun manufacturer?

                                          Also, on Pandora, if you were trying to kill the Vault Hunters, why did you not shut down the Hyperion ran spawn stations? Seeing as how you run Hyperion and all...

                                          [–]SableHAWKXIII 1 point2 points  (4 children)

                                          Why did the pre-sequel come out so FAST? I feel like we waited longer for BL1 DLC then we did for the pre-sequel!

                                          Secondly, what is Claptrap gonna do about the STAIRS?!! Are there no stairs on the moon?!!

                                          [–]BordersRanger01 2 points3 points  (3 children)

                                          it's been two years since Borderlands 2

                                          [–]cybersteel8Hotdog down a skag den, know what I'm sayin'? 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                                          Exactly. That's not very long.

                                          [–]BordersRanger01 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                          Borderlands 1 and 2 were only 2 or 3 years apart.

                                          [–]cybersteel8Hotdog down a skag den, know what I'm sayin'? 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Yet, the last piece of extra content for BL2 was released so recently. It's lifecycle was barely worn off. The 3 years between BL1 and BL2 feel heaps longer than the time between BL2 and BLTPS.

                                          I personally feel that if the next Borderlands game was left longer, they could do even more with the game. Though this isn't really the next Borderlands, so I guess I can't complain. There's high hopes for BL3 though.

                                          [–]LunarFalcon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Handsome Jack, how did you get to be so awesome? And how can we hope to be more awesome like you?

                                          [–]xereo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Are you immortal?

                                          [–]Spider_RivieraWANT IT! NEED IT GOTTA HAVE IT! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Hey Jack any chance you could tell us any info on your skill trees?

                                          Love you even if you're a morally bankrupt, megalomaniac. xxx

                                          [–]FAK_THIS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Who is the best villain in the borderlands franchise, and why it's you?
                                          Anyway, whats a good name for a diamond horse?

                                          [–]jcghostrider94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Hey Handsome Jack. How does one become as handsome as you? What's the secret to Hyperion's success?

                                          [–]groovyskillz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Whats the key to corporate dominance?

                                          [–]waveshock3r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Solaire asks if you can praise it?

                                          [–]SerialVandal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I would love to run a awesome company and crush my enemies beneath my feet. Have any tips?

                                          [–]nocleverusername190 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Hey Handsome Jack, we're all gentlemen and ladies here so tell us...how was Moxxie?

                                          [–]firelordUK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          how does it feel to be the greatest Villain of all time?

                                          [–]Mugikun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          If you are using a perfume, which one do you use? Or what do you smell like?

                                          [–]Sable17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Can I have your babies? :3

                                          [–]CalT2410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          So, Jack, what's your favorite legendary weapon on Pandora, including up coming ones in Pre-Sequel that you could maybe leak?

                                          [–]pwaves13Busted Moxxies girlie parts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Any tips on how to make myself as handsome as you are? Also can I say hi to angel?

                                          [–]psychosaur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Any information on Sirens you care to share? Like, are they Sirens from Birth or dose something happen to them make them that way? I have a "friend" with a young daughter that has some funky blue tattoos and strange powers you may be interested in meeting ... for a price.

                                          Also, care to dish out some dirt on the excutives that run Touge, Maliwan, Dahl, and Tediore corps? I've always imagined the Maliwan corp being headed up by someone like Steve Jobs.

                                          [–]lightknight80"Want to hear the new dubstep song I wrote?" 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          What did you have to do to keep boys away from Angel? She's so pretty that she looks like an angel and I bet she had a lot of guys asking her out and stuff.

                                          Also do you prefer class or explosions with your alcohol?

                                          [–]M4rt1nV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Where'd you get the rather bad-ass jacket?

                                          [–]JJacobi92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you? Did she give you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

                                          [–]AxeWorldNOW BLOW UP THE OCEAN!!! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Hyperion is obviously the BEST manufacturer. Not just gun manufacturer but... EVERYTHING MANUFACTURER! Which is the manufacturer that you hate the most. I friggin' hate DAHL. They don't know who they're dealing with.

                                          [–]Skynet380 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          What is your preferred method of genocide, and how did you get those perfect, piercing eyes?

                                          [–]qSolar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Why do I get arrested if I lock girls up in my basement, but you get away with it?

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Are you getting along with this guy Anthony that's transcribing for you?

                                          [–]lightningrod14fuck skeletaurs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          What's your average morning routine like?

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Taylor Swift?

                                          [–]kukenster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Handsome Jack, I need a new job. Do you hire?

                                          [–]halo_dudette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Would you ever consider getting married again?

                                          [–]Skinflap94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Hey, Jack. Big fan here. You're my biggest role model and I want to be just like you! What are some good tips to becoming and living like such a badass such as yourself?

                                          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                                          [deleted]

                                            [–]ArchColossus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                            I assume the Hyperion New U stations aren't so badly designed that they revive anyone EXCEPT for Hyperion employees. Could also be another body double. WHAT IF THE JACK WE KILLED WAS ANOTHER BODY DOUBLE. Borderlands the Post-Sequel Confirmed.

                                            [–]miss_fidgit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Do you like your pretzels crunchy, or soft? With cheese or without?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Jack (or would you prefer Your Handsomeness? I'm flexible.), big fan here and totally not kissing your ass to learn your secrets so that I can kill you in the future. I'm really looking forward to playing executing your will as Claptrap. It would really suck if something happened to him, he's annoying but he's good for comic relief and target practice. After everything on Elpis is said and done you didn't plan on, say, dropping him on a remote ice shelf to live among hundreds of the bodies of your slain enemies and be tortured by homicidal pyromaniac bandit pirates did you?

                                            Cause that would suck.

                                            [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Are you right handed, or left handed? (If you're ambidextrous, which is your preferred bandit choking hand? :P)

                                            [–]El_Duderino_X 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Why does your body double take much longer to kill in BL2 than you do? Also, he's better looking somehow.

                                            [–]Codkid036 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey jack!borderlands fan here!I was wondering how much of you'd we be seeing in the pre.-sequel?Also,can you tell us about any loot we'll be seeing?

                                            [–]ttfatfrokz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What's it like, being the most badass character in all of pandora?

                                            [–]crez425Look everyone, I'm dancing! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            You were hilarious in BL2 and became my favorite video game villian. Why should I expect you to top that performance in the Pre-Sequel?

                                            [–]Obizues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Handsome Jack, what was your job before you became a Programmer at Hyperion?

                                            [–]Delta_Plus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What plans if any do you have for pandora beyond finding vaults? Since it is you we are talking, there is no doubt you could easily turn pandora into a civilized planet, but would there be enough profit in turning a border planet?

                                            [–]Slutibartfast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            I still don't understand why you wanted to kill your grandmother... after getting all those flowers it was the last thing I wanted to do!

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            How'd you end up working for Hyperion?

                                            [–]cooler_sk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            How do you tend your beard?

                                            [–]CaptainRipp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What's your favorite band?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            If you had to share a beer with any of the Vault Hunters, who would it be and why them?

                                            [–]rapman543A watchful eye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What do you think of your competitors? (Maliwan, Jakobs, Atlas, Torgue)

                                            Also do you and Mr. Torgue ever hang out?

                                            [–]deltax20a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            If you and the Old Spice Guy were to get into a fight, who would win?

                                            [–]SableHAWKXIII 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What kinda music does someone who sucks at playing violin and picking pretzels listen to?

                                            [–]MarcianTobayBeloved Code Dispenser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey there, Jack. Which rival gun manufacturer do you respect the most and why? Which do you respect the least?

                                            Would you describe it as a friendly rivalry where you all have strengths, or are they fool pretenders to the Hyperion throne?

                                            [–]hyperionmoonbase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hannibal Buress claims pretzels is the same. What say you, Jack?

                                            [–]Juiceisgreat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Why did you send Wilhelm "defend" your fake power core from the vault hunters? Aren't you two supposed to be friends?

                                            [–]Chronocidal_Maniac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Everyone has a hobby. What are some things you like to do when you're not busy destroying your enemies?

                                            [–]Delta_Plus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            I heard you have a body double, there is no way he could contain your awesomeness but how's his since of humor?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Who was your favorite vault hunter to mess with?

                                            [–]CosmosMouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            If you were trapped in a pitch black room with Brick & Mr Torgue and neither could speak, how could you tell one from another.

                                            [–]TM0NEY46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Did you ever meet General Knox before his death and the fall of Atlas?

                                            [–]OrigamiTofu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            How's it feel having Claptrap being the reason why you lose/die? If not for that annoying little bot made by your company, thanks for that by the way, you might have actually had a chance.

                                            [–]Greyfox643I need it dead in 1 shot or less 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            For those rare instances that you don't delegate the not-so-glamorous task of shooting a bandit in the face, what is your preferred firearm?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            If you were naked, unarmed and being chased by a berzerking Brick and you had two paths to go down to avoid him (Into the Caustic Caverns, or infected Liberia) which path would you take and why the fuck are you naked?

                                            [–]Matrix117 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            No question. Just stopping by to say that you are one of my most iconic video game villains of all time, up there with Andrew Ryan. Thanks for being such a deplorable, hypocritical egoist.

                                            [–]ichigonokaori 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Why does your company keep reviving your enemies?

                                            [–]Delta_Plus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            On a scale of 1 to you; how cool are the hyperion laser weapons?

                                            [–]BlazurSup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            H.Jack, why is your programming so buggy? I heard you once wrote an infinite loop that crashed Hyperion's mainframe. Don't you beta test this stuff?

                                            [–]ZombieSnake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Heya Jack,

                                            If you could recast yourself in any movie, which movie and role would you choose and why?

                                            What's on Handsome Jack's workout playlist?

                                            [–]Aadrian1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Handsome Jack...You managed to kill off every CL4P-TP unit, except for the most annoying and obnoxious one. You really are an asshole

                                            [–]CubGeek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Jack, thanks for taking the time to share your insights with us! I'd like to ask about the issues with the various bots at Hyperion sites; namely that they seem to emit Thresher love pheremones (I suppose perhaps like Helena Pierce's Skag-pearl necklace?) that draws the wormy little buggers outta everywhere.

                                            I don't feel safe going in to the construction site anymore, what with all those things popping up and wrapping a tentacle around the bots to all sides of me.

                                            Any advice?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Mr.Jack

                                            Have you really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

                                            [–]FoxyGrayson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Jack, about your body double that'll be DLC. How close is it to the real thing?

                                            Like, if the three of us were in a room together, and I had to shoot the fake to save the real Jack, what kind of sandwich should I make?

                                            [–]Vendris 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hello Jack,

                                            Watch the chance of us that moved on to next / current gen consoles ever getting to enjoy the presequel on it?

                                            [–]zeug666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            How long did it take to air out your office to get rid of those marker fumes?

                                            We've seen that you are handy with a pistol, but is that your preferred weapon type? Do you have a favorite gun?

                                            [–]xpc_absol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What would you choose? Siren Powers, Or Willowtree weapon/armor mod abilities?

                                            [–]Hunzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Tell me about your childhood.

                                            [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            On a scale from 1-10, how badly do you want the shoot the president of Dahl Corporation in the face with a laser gun?

                                            [–]TheCrzy1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            So. How many eyeballs have you scooped out of eyesockets with a spoon?

                                            [–]aformentionedPerogie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Jack. Why has all footage of the moon have the vault hunters 5 lvls higher than the enemies? is the moon that treacherous or should we expect the same in our adventures

                                            [–]swiggyzoom 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                            you have a gun with one bullet, and you're locked in a room with claptrap and a psycho for 5 years. Who do you shoot??

                                            [–]Stereoparallax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Doesn't matter. In Borderlands one bullet won't kill anything.

                                            [–]NewfyRevolt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Jack why did you kill your own grandmother?

                                            [–]Psychoholick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Which character are you gonna play when the pre-sequel releases?

                                            [–]Cyphron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            I know you take a lot of pride in being handsome, but I can't help but notice these weird, shiny, almost metallic patches around your face. Have you considered moisturizing?

                                            [–]codemanjack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What's your favorite memory?

                                            [–]danypieman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Can we expect a Borderlands: The Prequel to come out for the xbox one or Ps4 in the future? Like maybe summer of 2015?

                                            [–]BeardedFella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Are you saving Pandora and Elpis from Dahl because you wanna be the one who gets to kill everyone and look like a hero?

                                            [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What does your room look like? I'm asking for umm... research purposes :)

                                            [–]ZindaeHE'S ON FIRE! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey, Handsome Jack! You're the best. I've got two questions!

                                            How do you come up with all the variations of your Loaders?

                                            How do you go about styling your hair?

                                            Actually, three questions. I'd also like to know how you feel about Mr. Blake as a person, being in Hyperion and all.

                                            See you on Elpis!

                                            [–]Mendicantbias00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            So Anthony...err...Jack, how are you feeling today?

                                            [–]dertydood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Would you rather fight 1 bullymog sized skag, or 100 skag sized bullymogs?

                                            [–]Inchwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            LOST LEGION 4 LIFE

                                            [–]MattSerj"I NEVER DIE" - Mordecai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What's one menacing plan you've always wanted to execute just never gotten the chance to?

                                            [–]PraefectusDerp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            were you planning on using The Warrior as a puppy at some point?

                                            [–]PghDrake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            2-Part question: What is your favorite weapon, and which is your favorite GUN?

                                            [–]Sirknightington 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            when did you start working at Hyperion?

                                            [–]QQStkl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            So, clearly you lived through the series of unfortunate and frankly ludicrous events that led to your downfall, or you wouldn't be currently wasting your invaluable time answering dumb questions from the likes of us plebeians. That being established, come Borderlands 3, when you inevitably team up with your former enemies to vanquish some even greater threat, exactly how many times do you plan to make ingenious attempts on your "allies'" lives as they unwittingly do your dirty work?

                                            [–]jorgany 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Handsome Jack, I don't find you to be handsome. That is all.

                                            [–]37the37th 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                            What is Jack short for?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            "John" apparently, considering these names have the same number of characters. I am going to scream.

                                            [–]Shemblis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Handsome Jack you going to be a DLC character in the future or am I going to have to put on my Handsome Jack mask each time I play so I can pretend I am playing you?

                                            [–]HongManChoiSteve is my spirit animal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What would you say to someone who only uses Jakobs munitions? Have you ever tried to persuade Marcus into only selling Hyperion?

                                            [–]NeonIsPyro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Why didn't you just buy better pretzels?

                                            [–]SUPAKAWAIIDESUMASTA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What are your thoughts on pretzels?

                                            [–]DamagedDovakiin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Jack do you know of why Hyperion stopped producing lasers after the whole thing on Elpis?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Favorite brand/type of coffee for those late-night coding sessions?

                                            [–]chetoflep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Forming cream or gel?

                                            [–]SomeNorCalGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Tell me Jack, did you love your mother? Do you think she loved you?

                                            [–]AutarchkHooooney ^^ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Handsome Jack, this is Disaster Jack

                                            Tell me what masterpiece you would create by choosing a classical music to play on your violin and combining it with the death metal of those bandits being killed by preferentially, Hyperion weaponry

                                            [–]captainjellyDon't call me child. 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Roughly how much hair product do you use in a single week?

                                            [–]Gadgetman914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Who does your hair?

                                            [–]BlazurSup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Is this actually fun for you?!? (May be a rhetorical question)

                                            [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What kind of music does our fearless leader rock out to in his office, I wonder? :)

                                            [–]PhysicsBro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Jack, if you would, for some reason, be on the surface of Pandora or, let's say, Elpis and you would have to fight some dudes, which action or skill or, let's call it, action-skill would you have/wish to have?

                                            [–]ke3bz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Why did those Pretzels suck so bad?

                                            [–]Houghbertmeat bicycle anyone? 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            what do you think of Dameon Clarke?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Do you get help with putting on the mask? Or is it a one-man job?

                                            [–]CheddahGief100%Cheddah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Do you have any nicknames that you like or do not like to be called?

                                            [–]xarbero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Jack, i cannot help but wonder, with hyperion's superior weaponry, can't you combine them somehow with the weaponry the aliens provided in the first installment of this series? I mean for a man of your brilliance... i always seem to run out of ammo with hyperion weaponry.

                                            [–]ClarkTheShark94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Why did you hire those bandits to kill your grandmother?

                                            [–]EnasniVolzMiss me, Sugar? 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Jack, when will you admit that Angel needs 1) A Mother and 2) To be as far away from you as possible?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Who is better in bed? Moxxi or Nisha?

                                            [–]skyy_capt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What happened to s&s they made such better weapons than you.

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Favorite tunes to listen to while you're on your path to galactic domination?

                                            [–]coreycubed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Be honest with me here - Spy's attempt at pretending to look like you with the Dapper Disguise. Flattering, or outright offensive?

                                            [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            We all know you got relocated to Pandora/Elpis, but what planet are you ORIGINALLY from?

                                            [–]KrystalShip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Weapon of choice?

                                            [–]NarsuaqNar-Zook[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Wait, didn't you die? You're just some new-u clone, aren't you?

                                            [–]DuskOfDawn23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What was your absolute favourite line / speech in Borderlands 2?

                                            [–]Stanium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            hey jackie boy! what are your thoughts about dinosaurs? arent they cute to be set against some random vault hunters? (just saying)

                                            [–]Dr_Eastman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            How would you beat Mr. Torgue in a fist fight?

                                            [–]rubsgs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Ever thought about buying Deathtrap's design and using it instead loarders?

                                            [–]incriminatory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            If you had to give up all your fame fortune, and status, and start all over in a different career. What would you do :D?

                                            [–]captainjellyDon't call me child. 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Mr. Jack..I'd..um..I've got something to say to you. I'm...in love with your daughter. Please don't get angry.

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey jack. What is your thought on totally stupid girls stealing your invention for the science fair, taking all the credit, and then getting the credit they deserve when you're totally AWESOME and ORIGINAL idea makes them explode?

                                            CHAOS FOREVER!

                                            [–]CatAstrophy11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Are you aware that I'm going to kill your stupid doppleganger over and over, have my friends teabag the corpse, and give him some ridiculously retarded name like HandsomeJack?

                                            [–]WhoopshtHNNNNGGGG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Do you do birthdays?

                                            [–]LoyalTemplar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Jack! My girlfriends wanted me to ask you to marry her. Up for it?

                                            [–]supergundam1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            When did you start working at Hyperion? How was your first day?

                                            [–]Bam-BamBoyles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            If your so rich why'd you buy such stale pretzels?

                                            [–]TheOnlyMeYour face needs to be fixed, and I need a spleen... 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            So, about the BNK-3R, how and in what way did it ever seem like a good idea to make it float in the air some times, easy to hit, when it might as well just have been firing mortars all the time and just destroying the Vault Hunters....unless you wanted Angel to die!!!

                                            You bastard...you handsome bastard. That, and is the Bitch your favorite SMG?

                                            [–]lynxSDMF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What is the story between you and Nisha? and Are you gonna actually come out and help the Vault Hunters or are you just the one delivering the ideas

                                            [–]jacob49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Who was your favorite person to kill ?

                                            [–]PlayerSdk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What is your opinion on that Roland guy?

                                            [–]Ferusomnium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Jack! You stole my fucking horse!

                                            [–]ExodusEquinox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Why did you put on that mask? Personally I think you look more badass with that mark on your face.

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            You are exactly right. You are better than me. That is why I am not below begging for some sorta sweet gun hookup for the new game. (Which I have so faithfully pre-ordered.)

                                            [–]The_Vault_Hunter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What does your mother think of Hyperion?

                                            [–]valkilor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Jack, have you ever taken off your mask just so you can kiss yourself? <(0_0)>

                                            [–]RLazerbeam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Who gave you the name Handsome Jack?

                                            EDIT: Nevermind.

                                            [–]MadfallSiconnors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Did you make Hyperion all their money by supplying helmets and masks for Pandoran bandits? It seems like the overriding fashion equipment. And just how did you create those Goliaths?

                                            [–]squirrelpanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Can you do a Roland impersonation for me please?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Handsome, Big fan! Just a lowly sw engineer looking for some career advice...I feel we have a lot in common (if Lockheed were my Hyperion and Mars were my Pandora) but how do get that wonderful tunnel vision determination/full on crazy to become a good tyrant like you?

                                            [–]NarsuaqNar-Zook[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Yo Jacky, what's your favourite weapon?

                                            [–]longjohnsmcgee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            I just can't get my hair to sit right. any tipd to have hair as perfect as yours?

                                            [–]LeprosySucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            So Jack. How did you get so badass?

                                            [–]Bam-BamBoyles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Whats your full name or did you just get stuck with the coolest ironic nickname?

                                            [–]roushmustang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Cl4p-tp or cl4p-tp

                                            [–]Squeezitgirdle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Whats under the mask?

                                            [–]ToniWiersma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Where did you get your handsomeness from? Mother? or Father?

                                            [–]The_Upward_Arrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            How should I style my mustache?

                                            [–]DamagedDovakiin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What model of moon base do you use?

                                            [–]Stealth_Cow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What's your weapon and shield of choice?

                                            [–]I_Rain_On_Parades 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Will the pre sequel stay in sync between Mac and PC versions during updates?

                                            [–]BadassMidget 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            How are your relations with Patricia Tannis ?

                                            [–]totes_meta_bot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                                            If you follow any of the above links, respect the rules of reddit and don't vote or comment. Questions? Abuse? Message me here.

                                            [–]pulokoADIOS PENDEJOS! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            why do most of the hyperion weapons have those wierd magazine thingies?

                                            [–]Sgtbuttercup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Any tips on how to be just as handsome as you?

                                            [–]LombaxTheGreat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What did you plan to do if you survived and kept control of the warrior? Also, sorry I killed you. Would take it back if plot allowed it.

                                            [–]faeriechyld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            I'm considering purchasing my own diamond horse. In your experience, what's the preferred food for them, bandit corpses, bullymongers or something else?

                                            [–]RobFireburn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What is your favorite gun type (shotgun, pistol, sniper rifle, ect.)?

                                            [–]Wade1423SHUT THE F**k UP STEVE! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            How much did each of the handsome jack statues cost?

                                            [–]camtheman888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Handsome Jack. Why do you hate vault hunters in borderlands 2 i mean you killed me 7 times before i defeated you.! why you so op!

                                            [–]One_more_pageHappy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Is there any word on how the extremely Handsome Doppleganger will be representing you on the moon of Elpis? Any specific tools? skills? Crazy inhuman stacking of power on arbitrary actions such as but not limited to reloading a gun? anything?

                                            [–]cissmiace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hello there Handsome Jack!
                                            You are most devilishly handsome. How hard is it being the most handsome man this side of Pandora and beyond?
                                            And can you tell me just how gloriously beautiful is Butt Stallion?
                                            Much love!

                                            [–]PghDrake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Can you say "Balloon Tits" for me? Please? Just once?

                                            [–]gothic_samurai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What do you think of Mister Torgue?

                                            [–]HarleyQHEEYYOOO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hi Jack, I don't have a question I just wanted to say that I find your unstable outbursts of humorous psychotic rage sexy. I've always had a thing for extreme personalities.

                                            [–]biotiki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            so what exactly happened to angel's mom?

                                            [–]HyperionHottie69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            hey, jack, how much did that kickass outfit cost? or is it just a uniform you were given by the higher ups? diggin those boots, man

                                            [–]finnthehuman86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Where do you shop for your wonderful clothes? And who does your hair?!

                                            [–]f0rged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What do you think of people dressing up as your Co workers, and adversaries for fun at large recreational gatherings?

                                            [–]loarfy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                            do you honestly believe you're a good guy?

                                            [–]diosamente 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            It's not like the bar is set particularly high on Pandora...

                                            [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            In honor of Handsome Jack Dating Simulator 2014, what is a typical night out with Jack like?

                                            [–]blink5694 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            How are you alive?

                                            [–]Big_Adam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            You know Jack, you talk an aweful lot of murder, which is odd as you call everyone else the bad guy.

                                            [–]Jarl__BallinCritical, bitch! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hi, Jack. Why do you hate your grandma so much?

                                            [–]BeardedFella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            It has been said that Nisha deals out more damage according to the amount she receives, furthermore this supposedly gets her there? Does this get you there? also where is there?

                                            [–]spulwgn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What is the coolest weapon you've found on the moon base?

                                            [–]Pm_me_ur_ink 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Ever get saddle sore from riding buttstalion? And were there ever any other little jacks we can look forward to killing in the future? You know, apart from angel?

                                            [–]42ndtime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Who was your favorite strangling?

                                            [–]Retiredhustler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Jack, what are your thoughts on bloodwing and his stinky drunk owner Mordocai ?

                                            [–]Ooiman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            If you could change one thing about yourself, what would that be and why?

                                            [–]theblackfool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What's your favorite thing to listen to after a nice day of pandemonium?

                                            [–]LessThanHandsomeJack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Can I use your cloned body as my play thing near or around Tuesday? What if I promised to use it to kill Roland? And what if I promised that promise wouldn't come true?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Yo, Jack. What kind of store would you have?

                                            [–]HeliosHelpsHeroes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What do you think about my username? Do you agree that Helios is a great place to for heroes to hang out?

                                            [–]GrivGodmode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            If someone ever managed to kill you, for great vengeance let's say, would you leave any sort of fail-safe to kill or severely cripple the people who killed you? For example some sort of guy who you force to enter a number sequence (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42), and if you die, his oxygen gets cut off, and when the sequence doesn't get entered every LOADER goes into bandit mode or elpis crashes into pandora or something.

                                            [–]MicFury 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Can you build be a BNK3R? I have these things called "bandits" over here that need some love & attention, Hyperion style.

                                            [–]kohnan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Jack, huge fan of your murders, I was thinking of planning a trip to Opportunity, what are some of the key attractions I "must see?"

                                            Oh and one more thing, how can I kill this claptrap if there's no friendly fire?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            You're a man of the world. You've had intercourse (which you obviously are very good at) with the Space-Vixens of Eden-6.

                                            What's that like? I was hoping to get posted there once we take care of a certain piece of rogue Hyperion machinery that made a bit of a mess near Tartarus Station. Hey, I can at least dream, right?

                                            [–]Cryptolic89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            HANDSOME JACK, DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN COMPETE WITH MR. TORGUE'S EXPLOSIVE AMA OF BADASSERY?

                                            BOOOM EXPLOSIONS

                                            [–]frothingnome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Can I come to your birthday party? I'll bring green bean casserole.

                                            And nothing else. cough

                                            [–]SonTran 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Would you rather have your enemies burnt to a crisp, or in little pieces after an insane explosion?

                                            Also, pancakes or waffles?

                                            [–]outflanking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Best. AMA. Ever.

                                            [–]PsarothWe set the Bird on fire. 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Dear Jack, I've been tinkering with a Projectile Convergence Hyperion SMG to add a larger magazine, but every time I've fired it, it keeps backfiring. Do you have any tips on how I should go about this? (because I'd prefer not to replace my left ear a sixth time)

                                            [–]_AxtonTheCommando_Meet my Girlfriend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Dudes?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Can I just say that I love you? I really do. You're my kinda guy.

                                            [–]TKhrowawaY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What's wrong with Jakobs munitions?

                                            [–]Hawkfiend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What is your favorite eating utensil?

                                            [–]PaintItPurple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            I swear this is (allegedly) a true story. I went to a high school in LA and you (allegedly) crashed our prom after party (Universal Hilton). You (allegedly) ended up taking the virginity of a girl named Roseanne. You (allegedly) didn't call her afterwards. She (allegedly) cried a lot. Do you remember any of this and can confirm or have you (allegedly) been so knee deep in Pandora pooty for so long that this qualifies as a mere blip?

                                            [–]The_________________ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            You seem like the kind of person who probably too focused on career ambition to have a lot of free time to kill, but do you by any chance play video games? If so, what have you been playing recently?

                                            [–]mixtapelive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Who's Angel's baby mama?

                                            [–]JJacobi92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

                                            [–]Kyomaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Jack, will we be seeing dual elemental type weapons on Elpis at all? That was always something I never quite understood, with so many guns that fire multiple bullets in one shot (I'm looking at you Unkempt Harold; wash your ass you psychopath), why couldn't one or two of those bullets be slag or lightning or something? I feel like we all focused so hard on having a slag weapon in our arsenal, that it was almost kind of limiting in the later game.

                                            [–]cookies4all 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                            Hail the great and most Handsome Jack! What is one of your more heroic exploits? Also, what are some things you'd like to say to your fans over at www.reddit.com/r/OneTrueJack/

                                            [–]ambivalentmalice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            the glorious leader is here, all hail!

                                            [–]TBones0072TORGUE SOLDIER PS3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            If Helen of Troys face could launch a thousand ships, how many BNK3Rs would launch for your face?

                                            Also, do you prefer to strangle with one hand or two?

                                            [–]hotori1994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            how do you get your hair to look so magnificent you handsome bastard;)?

                                            [–]ShwinkyUnconventional Assassin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What do you prefer for removing eyeballs? A gun or a spoon?

                                            [–]JJacobi92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

                                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            If you were a siren, what power would you have and why

                                            [–]SammichfaceSquishy, squishy, squishy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            I know you're handsome, I know you're an amazing narcissistic mad man. My question is about, the machine that you can feed crap guns to. If you toss 3 purple weapons in, what are the odds of getting an orange weapon in return?

                                            [–]Delta_Plus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            What exactly is the difference between a hyperion laser rifle and a sniper rifle? Other than the obvious bullet/laser difference

                                            [–]HyperionHottie69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            how're your grandmas doing?

                                            [–]Mendicantbias00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                            Hey Jack, what is your perfect Sunday?

                                            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                                            [removed]

                                              [–]webb2800 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey, i heard you have a body double, is this just some guy who looks a bit like you and wears the same clothes? or is a he more like a clone or some shit? I get the feeling he's a bit of a tryhard...

                                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Turn on's / Turn off's?

                                              [–]loarfy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              did you and angel ever do like, normal happy family stuff? do you even like angel? why did you decide to have a kid?

                                              [–]Melancholy9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So tell me jack. How would you handle the Ebola crisis?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's with the glove? Michael Jackson complex, or just too damn stylish?

                                              [–]Ratonhaketon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you think your parents did a good job in raising you?

                                              [–]hsojrrek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How did you apply for the job of being such an evil person? Or were you just born into it.

                                              [–]neverezt911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What will be your Body Doubles Action Skill in The Pre-Sequel, any details on trees or class orientation?

                                              [–]The_________________ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              "Handsome" Jack? Gimme a break. Reality check: you are fugy, dude.

                                              [–]twtchr44You like my pet? 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              how can you be sure that the suits arent plotting against you and keeping you distracted on this crap all day?

                                              [–]DrDelirious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey, Jack! Big fan here. Love the whole world domination thing. My question is, is it ever difficult being that handsome? And who is your favorite vault hunter?

                                              [–]UltiHey Vault Hunter! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Your guns are bad and you should feel bad. Actually, no, I take that back. You should fix your guns instead. How about a SMG with more than three rounds in the clip, eh Jack?!

                                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What do you think of Lilith?

                                              [–]zeal3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack what is your favorite method of torture.

                                              [–]Riantiada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              despite being classist, egotistical, murderous, overbearing, douchey, condescending, vicious, sarcastic, and napoleonic...

                                              ...how the hell are you still so charming?

                                              [–]ninjaloco22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              i touch myself watching your pictures is that normal??

                                              [–]finnthehuman86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's your favorite position? In bed. With a partner.

                                              [–]Syoz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How's your grandmother doing?

                                              [–]ZServLooks like I ordered WAYYYY too much pizza. 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I'm gonna assume this is Anthony, so I need to ask this. Why didn't you make the oh so obvious Warriors reference for the final boss?

                                              For Jack: of all the vault hunters you've killed, which has been the most gratifying? Do you ever get sad about the fact that you're the only one who can do it so well?

                                              [–]Ludus_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Who's your favorite Vault Hunter?

                                              [–]dierubikdieNot fast enough! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack, if you were to become CEO of Hyperion somehow, what would you do differently than the current management?

                                              [–]JJacobi92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

                                              [–]LunarFalcon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Serious question time.

                                              As a woman in a scientific field that is traditionally male dominated I'm interested in what the gender ratio at Hyperion is like. Are there opportunities for women, is there an encouragement for girls to take up programming, what's your stance on this issue?

                                              [–]lesassypancake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So... How do you REALLY feel about Nisha?

                                              [–]JJacobi92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

                                              [–]sirmeepster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Good Afternoon Your Handsomeness, I wanted to congratulate you on your incredible luck! I am with the Lottery Commission of Nigeria and you are the lucky winner of the equivalent of $100,000,000! Normally taxes would need to be paid in the sum of 1% of the total winnings but in light of all your recent charitable activities, we are willing to waive this fee for the mere cost of 1 Borderlands Pre Sequel steam code. If you would be so kind as to pm this information to us we will be sure to wire your winnings into the account of your choosing.

                                              Thank you for your time Mr. Jack and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

                                              [–]bigdogoverall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack do you have body doubles on the moon with you

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What is best in life?

                                              [–]jsschmitt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Ya know, I recently picked up a new Hyperion branded SMG, and I must say that the quality is bad.

                                              Marcus convinced me that Hyperion was where I should go for accuracy in the past, but now... I'm not so sure.

                                              What made you install those damn stabilizers, and can you do something about the fact that in order to stabilize, they first make the gun shoot like a blind midget shotgunner?

                                              [–]thebaconator55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Jack, would you ever consider uh... Making a functional sniper rifle, and also better than Dahl's... Because both are terrible...

                                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Be honest... do you feel sorry for all of the men out there less handsome and talented than you? (And by that, I mean everybody.)

                                              [–]woodenjigsaw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Would you Axton?

                                              [–]AtiMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How do you feel about the name John?

                                              [–]siriusblk69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you and Mr. Torgue have a drink together? Angel is hot..can we talk to her?!?!?!

                                              [–]HyperionHottie69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              is it tiring having to deal with so many adoring fans on a daily basis?

                                              [–]Vindikus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Did Butt Stallion die? :'(

                                              [–]loonyduck1I could wait for you to finish talking... 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why are you less shit than Blake?

                                              [–]g0db3rry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Can I have a free Hyperion gun?

                                              [–]DANNYonPC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Glorious leader of everything that is handsome.

                                              How is it to have your own videogame where the four badguys keep loosing?

                                              [–]youresuchadorkvic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What are some things that really piss you off?

                                              [–]hazzer99x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I killed a few thousand people with a recent regenerative matter cannon that cause peoples inside to multiply until they explode, that I cough bought from a secret tediore lab beneath a slum on promeathea and I was wondering do you know have any advice for a budding weapon salesmen as myself?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's more disappointing, the fact that the vault hunters couldn't get in the first vault or the potential that there could be another vault with nothing in it but a stupid monster?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if said woodchuck was a cannibal?

                                              [–]angrybum12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What is you favorite method of strangulation? bare hands? piano wire? cramming your fist down someones throat?

                                              [–]MixelsPixelz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              If you could choose how you'd die, what firey blaze of glory would you go out with?

                                              [–]Zer0DotFive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What is the difference between choking and strangulation?

                                              [–]Kw0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I actually have two Questions:

                                              Who is the best character in Borderlands? And why is it Krieg?

                                              [–]VexedEgo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you ever fear that in the future their will be a group of vault hunters that include a robotic freak that speaks in haikus, a short, overcompensating salvadorian gunslinger, a commando who just got dumped by his wife, a teenage hipster with a robot death machine follower, a psycho that likes slashing things, and a siren that just freaked out her home planet, that eventually hunt you down, kill your daughter, girlfriend, Wilhelm, future robots you intend to build such as maybe a bunker that is actually a death machine, or a huge hyperion bot named Saturn, and winds up also killing a lava based monster that you would release from a theoretical vault. Has this ever crossed your mind?

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Does it turn you on when people call you sir?

                                              [–]RampageFillTheRedBar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack what did Krieg do before he went all, you know, psycho? Wtf did you do to him to cause this mental rift? Will we find out in the pre-sequel?

                                              [–]mchief75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Is your "Bitch" line of SMGs inspired by your past relationships/lovers/dead-lovers or is it inspired by something else?

                                              [–]fromDdark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              why didn't you clone a son (or daughter) of the Warrior?

                                              [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Dude what the fuck did you do to that Krieg guy? Dude lights himself on fire and bashes himself in the face with a buzzaxe and *laughs about it while murdering every Hyperion employee he sees.

                                              I know you're Handsome Jack and super cool and unstoppable and all, but you might want to keep an eye out for a screaming 7-foot wall of flames running at you. Jesus, man. You fucked him up bad.

                                              Wait.

                                              Or did you?

                                              [–]kitttykatzThis jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              That Twitter wallpaper is, um, not great. What the hell, erm, heck (language)!?!

                                              • Did you let CL4P-TP design it?

                                              • Are you stuck in 2000?

                                              • Did Corporate assign you some executive's 2 year old kid to make it? (If so, please find some way to strangle them. Slowly. Obvious lack of market and brand awareness...)

                                              • Are the moon accents making you stupid?

                                              • Are you going through meme withdrawal since memes are apparently banned from the moon base?

                                              • Did you hack and "improve" Hyperion's account, 4Chan style?

                                              [–]racalac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Dear Jack, Would you consider a charitable donation to the Pandora School for Orphans Whose Parents Had Their Eyes Scooped Out by Awesome, Handsome Heroes?

                                              [–]HideousThis is where the cars live, git you one! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey, Jack. When did you last visit Earth? Is it hard to get here from Pandora?

                                              [–]RyogaXenoVee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Crap, I'm late to the party!

                                              http://i.imgur.com/mPRrQHW.jpg

                                              Since you tend to be surrounded by ninjas from time to time.

                                              What / who do you think Zer0 is?

                                              [–]maxwell-von-streisen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              at school its hard being the most cool and handsome person, how hard is it to be the coolest and best looking on the planet

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey, I heard you died! And like a total bitch too! Oh my god it was hilarious! Really quite satisfying.

                                              Anyways, my question is why do Hyperion-brand pistols suck so bad?

                                              No stopping power, the clip empties before I can get bead on a bandit's face, and reloading is like dismantling a camera that keeps its memory drive behind the batteries. No wonder you name your guns Objectification of Fecal Matter or whatever, 'cause they're a piece of shit!

                                              P.S. Your daughter's hot.

                                              [–]shibbypwn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Have you seen a little girl named Tina lately? Are you friends with her parents?

                                              [–]dynoman60 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why are you not the main character in the pre sequel?

                                              [–]psychorunner17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Handsome jack sir i find you awesome especially about the guy in new haven who charged you with a spoon but my question is if you wanted a soldier to serve your badassery

                                              [–]One_more_pageHappy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I have preordered the Presequel and the season pass, but how can I give you MORE money?

                                              [–]MikeAlustrium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I have your Butt Stallion.

                                              Ransom is set at 1 Vault Key.

                                              I'LL BE WAITING.

                                              [–]Pinkie4000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Dear handsome Jack, I just wanted to say your are my true hero of all times! You rock so hard!

                                              [–]linkinparkfan96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I have one question and one question only, EXPLOSIONS?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!

                                              [–]HyperionHottie69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              any reason you're so against the use of foul language?

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Boxers or briefs?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              do you have any nudes of moxxi?

                                              [–]gentlemantis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So, how's the family?

                                              [–]CaitlinSarah87phaselock to the top 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Handsome Jack, (may I call you HJ?) What is your favorite thing to kill? Bullymongs, skags, stalkers, vault hunters?

                                              [–]bgomers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hello Mr. Jack, My 4th summer home in Opportunity has been in development for the past 4 years, What gives?

                                              [–]Vect_MachineI'LL SHOW YOU WHAT A BADASS IS! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What are your tips to being a good father that has obviously won the galactic father championships?

                                              [–]Taskhill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why would you let Angel have that hair cut? Follow up: what's your policy on dating?

                                              [–]Cial 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Mr. Jack, Greetings from the planet earth; would you happen to be hiring? My qualifications involve not being a mouth breather, being able to tell which end is the operational end of a gun, and knowledge Microsoft Office.

                                              Also how goes the campaign against the inhabitants of Pandora's moon?

                                              Also is there a catalog I can get? I find myself in need of some new weaponry to handle a slight... Infestation

                                              Regards /u/Cial <Location Unknown> Earth

                                              P.S. sorry for the multiple transmissions I get a terrible connection to the echonet

                                              [–]Tycoontwist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's your deal with sirens, anyway?

                                              [–]Sgray5232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you play call of duty Mr. Jack?

                                              [–]mss0290 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So what's you favorite weapon you've found across Pandora and Elpis? Not counting moonshots.

                                              [–]gentlemantis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How'd you get involved with Hyperion?

                                              [–]callumrulz09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Who is Angel's mother?!

                                              [–]TomdoramaPoop Train Conductor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Who would you say is your best friend Jack?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Can you explain who put out of business my favorite manufacturer, S&S Munitions? Damn I miss the Serpens.

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Favorite knife? (Don't say it's a spoon... please)

                                              [–]diosamente 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Are you, are you banging Taylor Swift or something? The repeated references make me suspicious you're going to be the subject of a teenpop song in months to come

                                              [–]mehtuhl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I hear a lot of people ship you with Moxxi. Who do you ship yourself with?

                                              [–]happybirthdaygelatin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Can I have a copy of the Pre-Sequel?

                                              [–]DishwasherTwig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What is your element of choice? Fire, electricity, slag, laser, ice, or explosion?

                                              [–]PotHeadJesus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's your high score for the amount of pieces you can cut a man in to? Or do you leave such messy work for your underlings?

                                              [–]TheAdamantArchvile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Weapon of choice?

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So, you're single huh? Are you accepting dating applications? :)

                                              [–]MrLudvigPro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Can i buy buttstallion for a vault key

                                              [–]quaint28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Handsomest Jack:

                                              What is the best way to be more like you?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Can I have The Warrior as a pet? He's a total badass and, somehow, cute.

                                              [–]coco-monster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Sup?

                                              [–]Kaitatatertot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So Jack... If you weren't working for Hyperion, what other job might you have done?

                                              [–]chrissicat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Handsome Jack! What do you find to be the most efficient gun to kill bandits with?

                                              [–]EnasniVolzMiss me, Sugar? 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Whats your favorite food to snack on after slaughtering a bunch of bandits? (and no it can't be pretzels. They always suck anyway.)

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              1. What vault hunter do you plan on killing first in TPS?

                                              2. What Legendary would you like me to shoot you in the frickin' face with?

                                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's the best thing about working for Hyperion?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How much was Butt Stallion worth?

                                              [–]GaigeAndDeathtrap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How can I make Deathtrap even more badass?

                                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Have you ever played Bunkers and Badasses?

                                              [–]PoliPls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              you want marry me? <3

                                              [–]marimbamood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Can I ride Butt Stallion?

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              When's your birthday, and how old are you?

                                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Who would win in a Siren-off... Lilith, or Maya?

                                              [–]le-imp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              1) how do you like your vault hunters? 2) do you take butt stallion to the Kentucky derby for the greatest horse race? 3) have you tried a violent take over of another company? 4) favorite Pandora song? 5) weirdest date you were on?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How can I become you?

                                              [–]Silkentech08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you think you will ever have an all diamond horse named butt-stallion because of a siren, a psycho, a high school dropout with a robot, an alien assassin thing, a war veteran, and a midget?

                                              [–]Akiramas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What is Butt Stalion doing right now?

                                              [–]mehtuhl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What type of Hyperion gun is your style? My favorite's a sniper, followed by an SMG. Hyperion products have gotten me out of more sticky situations than any other company. Good on you guys!

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Who's your favorite mutant from the X-Men universe?

                                              [–]gneissgirly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Would you draw me like one of your french girls, Jack?

                                              [–]TeddyBearRhino 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Handsome Jack! I named a drink after you :). Its a mixed drink with one shot of Honey jack and the rest being A&W cream soda. It might have a name already but it my mind it will always be called Handsome Jack. It's pretty good you should try it!

                                              [–]Jomy582I heard there was Anarchy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I heard there was this siren that left Athenas, do you know anything about it?

                                              [–]snowboardpat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Who do I complain to about faulty Hyperion Loader units?

                                              [–]supernova645 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              i love claptrap what about you?

                                              [–]elchuckoZZZEEERRRRKKKK!!!! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Pretzels. What's your brand?

                                              [–]JTitian17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Man, I loved when you gouged that guy's eyes out with a spoon and watched his kids cry. Just... classic!

                                              If you had to level any town/group of people on Pandora, who would it be and why?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Who's your favorite vault hunter? And by favorite I mean which one do you want dead the most?

                                              [–]MrsKittyhawk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Ever mind going out to drink some wine, kill vault hunters and torture some bandits with me? Pretty much low to do it without having someone to laugh about it. Oh by the way, i wonder everytime what your surname is. Seems like half pandora doesn´t use any surnames.

                                              [–]Enyk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Any child care tips? Playpen recommendations?

                                              [–]Bigddy762 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hello sir, I must inquire as to your favorite method of eliminating your enemies?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Are you a skag or a rakk person?

                                              Do you like tubby animals?

                                              Why is your daughter so hot?

                                              [–]jackurcool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's your favorite meme?

                                              [–]AlextheHunter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey, what Will your duppelgangers action skill be like?

                                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you ever feel yourself slowly beginning to fall in love with someone only to realize you've been staring into a mirror the whole time?

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you have any kinks or fetishes that don't involve strangulation?

                                              [–]Coolboypai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Handsome Jack, got any tips for future vault hunters?

                                              [–]undeadninja2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What is your honest opinion on the vault hunters? Do you ever feel romantically inclined towards them?

                                              [–]GentlemanOwl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I've always wondered, do moon bases come standard with a giant death laser or is that an option?

                                              [–]MasterFrank99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Will we ever see a game that have you as main character?

                                              [–]TheAngryBlueberryYOU ROBOTIC SUMBITCHES 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why should I purchase Hyperion over any other brand?

                                              [–]superior-joe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              what are your views on the use of anthrax ?

                                              [–]khaotickk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Thank you for doing this Handsome Jack!

                                              How did you plan on using The Warrior's power when you opened the vault?

                                              [–]mowens86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jackie,

                                              Say I knew a guy that might be interested in commissioning some radar guided stealth robot panthers with face lasers... And we'll just say this guy would be looking forward to testing said robot panthers in some sort of competitive death arena in a Zero-G environment. Do you think perhaps these sort of things could be done in a timely manner? You think maybe you could get something going? I hear he might even want to commission an all Obsidian coated one.

                                              TL;DR I need you to create a few stealth panthers with face lasers.

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Have you ever considered removing someone's DNA based data from the New-U database so they could never come back, essentially killing them for good?

                                              [–]oldslvr76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Jack...are Vladoff weapons still in the game? They were talking about laser guns and they mentioned every brand but vladoff

                                              [–]Wafflespork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack, Why do hyperion guns do like no damage? Also I talked to your boss he says youre a hideous little code monkey

                                              [–]Cwwatson43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Handsome Jack, how is Moxxi in bed?

                                              [–]RanstafleNailed It! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What are you gonna dress up as for Halloween?

                                              [–]BlondeNinjaxo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              When you become King of the Universe, can you make me your Queen? Taylor Swift will write ballads of our triumphs. 💙 💜

                                              [–]eaerpSexiest Minion Ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Yo Jack thanks for doing this man, how does it feel to be on such an unstopable, meteoric rise to power?

                                              [–]Mendicantbias00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Have you ever considered an anger management course? I think it could do you a world of good.

                                              [–]chatsharris 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you ever worry that you're just misunderstood?

                                              [–]Krystalleon[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack, Siren booty, am I right?

                                              [–]GuyDude1337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's your opinion on Nisha, Mr. Jack?

                                              [–]Jeembo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's the deal with those little dog/pig things with the weird mouth?

                                              [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              FYI if Nisha doesn't treat you like the goddamned king that you are, you know where to find me ;)

                                              [–]Laidtorest98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So Jack any info on what your body double maybe equipped with in the presequel?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How can I get my eyebrow game to be as strong as yours?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Mr. Handsome:
                                              How would I go about styling my hair in such a magnificent manner?
                                              Also how's Blake doing?

                                              [–]emPtysp4cePimento Taco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's the best way to get blood stains out of a soul?

                                              Wait, also, where'd you get the big H-looking satellite?

                                              [–]Makispi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Handsome Jack, one question, why are you so damn handsome?

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              If you suspect someone is working for Dahl Corporation, is it within your rights as a decent and (mostly) law-abiding citizen to shoot them in the freaking face for treason? Please say yes.

                                              [–]kitttykatzThis jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              When you become an interplanetary superhero -- and we all know that this is happening -- I'm sure you'll be creating tons of signs and cutouts depicting your likeness.

                                              Your loyal employees will make so many that there isn't even room for all of them, so some will wind up in closets, waiting for their spectacular unveiling.

                                              This is happening. You know it. I know it.

                                              My question: Any chance you'd sign some of these glorious art pieces and set them aside for your loyal fans?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Mr. Handsome , I wanted to let you know that you are my all time favorite villain. You and the Joker, everything else pales in comparison. I rooted for you in Borderlands 2, but sadly, all good things must come to an end.

                                              Aside from finding the Warrior, what is your favorite accomplishment?

                                              [–]S5546The pain goes HERE! *smack* 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Would you rather fight 100 duck sized Butt Stallions or 1 Butt Stallion duck?

                                              [–]NocturnalBeing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How's Grandma?

                                              [–]Benskien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Who/what inspired you to become Handsome Jack?

                                              [–]Agrelm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What is your favorite song and why? Can I be your bro?

                                              [–]mehtuhl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I think Lemon Demon might owe you royalties. They're stealing the whole... mask of your own face thing. Just thought you might like to know.

                                              [–]EveryoneDiesAtTheEndBLOOOOOOOD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Who is the more "handsome" Jack?

                                              You or that time-travelling immortal "Handsome" Jack Harkness (who you totally didn't steal your name from).

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So Nisha's seen you with your mask off? I'm impressed! Lucky gal :)

                                              [–]kitttykatzThis jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Have you seen that show Shark Tank?

                                              If so, what do you think of it? Were you disappointed that they didn't have actual sharks on the show? How would you improve the program?

                                              [–]oldslvr76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Vladoff weapons in the pre-sequel?

                                              [–]Cl4p-TP_Steward_Bot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              You ever seen a Constructor bot dance, minion?

                                              [–]SovietTr0llGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Can you tell us more about yourself? Where are you from? How'd you become involved with Hyperion?

                                              [–]gENTlebronyI HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's your spirit animal?

                                              [–]RogueD90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I have to say Hyperion makes the best guns out there, but what the trick to making them so darn accurate at putting loads of bullets into your least favored enemy?

                                              [–]AdmiralMudkip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's your opinion of Maliwan? Personally, the style they use on their guns really does it for me. Shit's kick ass.

                                              [–]ViaBlaze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Could you tell any of us a good story, I hear your stories always have a good moral.

                                              [–]Nuklearpinguin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why haven't you used your soothing voice to record a Dota2 Announcer?

                                              [–]TheAugitePawn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why the hell hasn't reddit put your glorious AMA on their fancy AMA app yet?

                                              [–]tallkido 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Im #1 so why try harder?

                                              [–]GruntOfAction 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              If you decided to be a chef instead of the president of Hyperion would you be Hungry Jack instead? https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bzh0xEJCUAAk3XF.jpg

                                              I bet you'd make bitchin' pancakes.

                                              [–]MiniJarToday is full of Opportunity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Where are you right now?

                                              [–]tellerfanShit and Meatballs! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What kind of extravagant rewards can I expect for being brand loyal and buying all of the damned Borderlands game? Sweet ass starting weapons made of gold, a unique head and skin combo that let's everyone know I'm a BAMF, or a hearty handshake and a pat on the back?

                                              [–]raquaza120 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How are your pretzels?

                                              [–]trick069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Have you ever ran the train on someone with your clone?

                                              [–]fixermark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I'm in the market for ponies made of exotic materials, and I've heard you're something of an expert. I'm considering diamond, but it seems like it'll be expensive to get the heavy drilling tools necessary to brush her mane. Should I settle for one made of cubic boron nitride?

                                              [–]wagmatic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How much death is TOO MUCH death? And can you kill so much that reality attempts to equal out and generate more life (which can subsequently be removed/vaporized)?

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What do I do if I suddenly wake up and realize that you've ruined me for all other men?

                                              [–]mehtuhl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              You wake up and realize Dahl Corporation has strapped you to a CL4P-TP unit in your sleep. What do you do?

                                              [–]Henkayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's your thought about Scooter?

                                              [–]YTMSMR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So Jack, I know that you're busy being good at sex and saving Elpis and Pandora, so just wondering if you've kept up your violin practice, or if you've been too pre-occupied.

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's the craziest place you've ever had sex? (I mean come on, Moxxi seems like a freak to me!)

                                              [–]TheWellets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Is it weird that I'm reading all of your responses in your voice?

                                              [–]Chantasuta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So what's the best thing about being so quick-witted and very much feared by everyone?

                                              [–]HalomaticSMELLS LIKE HOME 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How long did it take you to get to where you're at now in the Hyperion ranks, and how many people had to die to get you there?

                                              [–]BrilliantBen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Is Lynchwood a euphemism for something else?

                                              [–]OpinionToastersteam: 10KilogramsofSolidDeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Is your first name Handsome or Jack?

                                              [–]gentlemantis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's the screening process for your body doubles?

                                              [–]zskot75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              so handsome jack, what's it like bein a pencil pusher at hyperion?

                                              [–]NamisarHOP ON MY MEAT BICYCLE! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Will we see young Angel in the pre-sequel?

                                              How about her mother?

                                              [–]QQStkl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Time to finish this hard-hitting reporter style: Jack. What can you tell us you've learned from the Warrior debacle? What did you take away from that dark chapter that you can use as you pick up the pieces of your former life?

                                              [–]TheLionsBrotherRAAAAAAAAGE!! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Is Hyperion ever going to match the quality of a good ol' Jakobs rifle? Because, while I've had a few good Hyperion machine guns, nothing has ever been as satisfying as watching bandits' heads explode with my Jakobs rifle.

                                              [–]gemini-siren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How's the weather up on Elpis today?

                                              [–]SkullCRTHE VOICES SAID EMPTY HOLLOW AND THUD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans, this'll be the last comment I ever send your ass It's been many posts and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two links; I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect So this is my last post I'm sending you, I hope you read it:

                                              http://skullcr.deviantart.com/art/Hyperion-Cupajoe-422918619 https://www.dropbox.com/s/1f50esk0qrb7p73/2014-10-05%2012.44.11.jpg?dl=0 http://skullcr.deviantart.com/art/The-Vault-329359752?q=gallery%3ASkullCR%2F19505295&qo=16

                                              [–]YTMSMR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Dear Handsome Jack, last question was a bit of a step in the wrong direction, didn't know you already answered it. So I came up with a better question for you to hopefully grace me with your time when you aren't busy with sex and being Pandora and Elpis' greatest hero; What's the wifi like on Elpis?

                                              [–]Nyxbar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why do you have to be such a sexy bugger?

                                              [–]DigbyMayorShoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What do you with your left eye? Certainly not see...

                                              [–]HyperionHottie69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              your all time favorite meme, go

                                              [–]FrostCollar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Handsome Jack, you've obviously got the right ideas about Pandora. How can we help?

                                              [–]MotonlessPotato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I don't have a question. I just wanted to say that you're awesome. That is all.

                                              [–]Nygmus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How do you feel about those detractors who claim that Hyperion's exquisite emphasis of style, practicality, and synergy detract from the usability of their weapons as killing devices?

                                              I've even heard of some unwashed swine going so far as to claim that Torgue weaponry was far superior!

                                              [–]RampageFillTheRedBar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Favorite meme?

                                              [–]DrCthuluface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              how does it feel to be doing the exact same shit for the third time without even a hint of innovation or an original idea to be found?

                                              [–]GuyDude1337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              WHat is your favorite form of murder?

                                              [–]BooBooBusDriver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What do you do on your downtime besides eating pretzels and strangling chumps?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I can't help but read this AMA in your voice, Morgan Freeman v.2

                                              If i payed you enough eridium, would you consider parting ways with Buttstallion? That is one handsome mother fucker - Not handsome like you.. but handsome for a horse made from diamonds.

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Mr... Mr. Jack? Mr. Handsome? What do I call you?

                                              Anyways, I'd just like to ask: Since when do you browse reddit? Also, why are you so damn handsome (Genetics, genetic modification, shittons of hair gel, etc.)?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How would we go about telling apart you from your body double?

                                              [–]Eman4evr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So are we going to see an even more badass Interplanetary Ninja Assassin Claptrap sometime soon?

                                              [–]Alpha_N_Omega95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              If you somehow take over Hyperion, what are your plans for expansion?

                                              [–]DaCuban 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Jack, on average, how many interns do you go through? And how much college credit does a summer internship at Hyperion give?

                                              [–]mehtuhl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              If some horrible, hypothetical thing were to happen in the distant future where those stupid vault hunters actually track you down at the vault of the warrior or whatever... I mean, you'd totally send your body double to that, right? You wouldn't actually put yourself in harm's way and let their bandit asses kill you...

                                              Surely a man as great as yourself has many body doubles for such tasks...

                                              I mean, New-U stations aren't canon. But body doubles are. coughs

                                              [–]someguy626 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Jack, just a randomly numbered Hyperion employee here, just wondering about these new-U stations we've got here on Pandora, now I know you've told us to kill these vault hunter fellas, but every time we kill them they just pop right back out of a New-U, I know these stations make the company money, but are just killing them to make money? Or do you actually want us to kill them dead? ..... Please don't kill me for questioning your methods...

                                              [–]Fribbel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              If you could create a personal, unique weapon only for yourself, what would it be and how would it work?

                                              [–]ToasttheRabbit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack

                                              What is your opinion of rabbits? Also, I just kicked a nun in the junk.

                                              Toast

                                              [–]DigbyMayorShoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              FUCK! AS SOON AS AS ASK MY QUESTION!

                                              [–]InfernalVortex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Have you played this game called Destiny? It looks boring.

                                              [–]Thenightmancumeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you have any care advice for my skin mask?

                                              [–]the_PhloopSycophantic product of incest. 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Sexy!

                                              You're the smartest man I know. What's your theory on why Pandora has so many goddamn washing machines?! And why do the barbarians insist on keeping their valuables in them instead of washing the filthy rags they insist on calling "clothes"?

                                              [–]cademan40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you love or hate the fact that even thoe i killed you i took your face and now wear it? i mean i guess we all kinda love you...just a little....

                                              [–]timo103AKIMBO! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's Mr. Blake been up to?

                                              [–]Scruffaduff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Alright I'll be the one to ask it. How are you better than me?

                                              [–]cokainpropane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack, I have one question for you. Tits? Or ass?

                                              [–]gerdgawrd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So what's your problem with porn?

                                              [–]ashhhhjx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              You hope to make out with others? I know I'm on that list somewhere, no, at the very top. Hahaha xx anxiously awaiting your return..

                                              [–]DireGhostlion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So i noticed you don't have an New u account. why not? seem like the perfect thing to have encase some pissed off Vault hunter shoots you in the face.

                                              [–]herbertgrover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So what is your greatest invention

                                              [–]GunslingHer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              1. If I'll put a quantum harmonizer in your photonic resonation chamber would that cause a parabolic destabilization of the fission singularity?

                                              2. Chicken or beef?

                                              [–]SheZowRaisedByWolves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How's the violin coming along?

                                              [–]StruckingFuggle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Vault hunters have already taken down one corporation. While clearly Hyperion won't ever suffer the fate Atlas did, do you think that the leaders of, say, Dahl, will ever have to worry?

                                              [–]twocupsonegirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              This is the best fucking AMA ever

                                              [–]Lokie_Firestar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Yay Handsome Jack! First question, I love you. Second question, will you help me take over the world?

                                              ~With love from Sir Handsome Jack's stalker~

                                              [–]Bloodlad66 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Jack what's your favorite sex position?

                                              [–]snowboardpat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Exactly how much better are you?

                                              [–]aztec_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why, hello there Handsome Jack. I just got one question for you, why did you choose to name yourself "Handsome" Jack over other names like "Fancy" Jack, "Dapper" Jack, or "Clean-Cut" Jack. I personally prefer Handsome Jack (cause you were born awesome). All this is just a strange thought I had while I was bored today.

                                              [–]Serck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Handsome Jack, out of all of the sentient creatures in the six galaxies. Why on Alpis would you hire a cl4p-tp unit to do anything.

                                              [–]IWasAMidgetHorse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I found a handsome guy and took his face. I can't get it to stay on. Tips?

                                              [–]cave_sex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Were you born perfect or did you grow into it?

                                              [–]WeeMand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What did you do to take care of Butt Stallion?

                                              [–]Simo0399 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you have a relationship with stairs?

                                              If yes, how's it going?

                                              [–]fredythepig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Most importantly, how the fuck is Butt Stallion doing?!?

                                              [–]Killeragain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What element are you looking forward to Handsome Jack?

                                              [–]NitrogenDesignMODERN ART!! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Which vault hunter did you want to kill the most?

                                              [–]DimlightHeroVH S. Thompson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How's the railgun research coming along?

                                              [–]Evoqw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              In a few years jack you will have a great time in New Heaven with spoons

                                              [–]Miisc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Bring your children to work day. What did Angel think about it?

                                              [–]Tyres20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I have on question. Which one do you like better, ass or tits?

                                              [–]kiddos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hi

                                              [–]iinfrequentlyperish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What was the most absurd object you've ever killed somebody with?

                                              [–]Trollishum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why have you allowed the vault hunters to use your 'new-u' stations?

                                              [–]IlliterateBatman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why can't you get good pretzels?

                                              [–]SirWhoblahHello travelers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What level of pistol does it take to one shot a fully levels Roland

                                              [–]Zeero92STRANGER DANGER!!! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I hear there's a guy that looks exactly like you on your payroll. What's up with that?

                                              [–]renheroTAKE A RIDE ON THE BLACK DRAGON 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              If you ever come back to read the questions you missed in this AMA, could you share a limerick about how you would then immediately regret that decision?

                                              [–]GiddyMitch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              When I grow up I wanna be just like you, what are your best tips to being awesome?

                                              [–]Buccura 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              You ever beat XCOM on impossible ironman?

                                              [–]Jill4ChrisRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I have an uncontrolable young siren daughter, any tips how to fix that? She's impossible to get babysitters for (mainly cause they all freakin' die before the end of the night and I'm like COME ON! Seriously?!) and I just want a couple hours, maybe a few days, just to myself. Wanna get back into echosimming, chilling out, you know?
                                              Any advice?

                                              [–]roaryrocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Mr. Jack, How do you feel about everyone asking you questions even though your time slot ended about 6 hours ago?

                                              [–]I_AM_NOT_HUMAN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack, what are your future plans for the Hyperion corporation? Do you plan to expand to other planets? Do you plan to take over any rival corporations?

                                              [–]VectorsxxTediore Whore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I'm sorry Jack, but Tediore has my name for best weapons.

                                              [–]Coylie3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey, Handsome Jack.

                                              My younger sister is turning sixteen in a few days. Do you think you'd be able to make it to Eden-5 so she can meet her hero? She loves the story of how you opened the Vault and defeated the Destroyer.

                                              [–]Psycho_scissor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Dear Jack, do you ever regret sealing Angel away? I understand that it was partly for her own good to keep her powers in check, but now you can't hold your little girl anymore.

                                              [–]PandArmygeneralExplosions of life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Handsome Jack. I pre-ordered The Pre-Squeal and I'm going to say that I can't wait to fight by your side. About your question on "What's BL2?" It what we say to shorten Borderlands 2, also thanks for covering the choking and strangling. My question though is, How is it being the CEO of a major company?

                                              [–]tyler_m39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Who was your first kill?

                                              [–]Busted_Stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              If you could have the head of any vault hunter from BL2 (Salvador, Mia, Zero, Axton, Gaige, or Krieg), who would it be and why?

                                              [–]RienuaaJack fangirl at heart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I know I'm late, but I just wanted to say that I totally love you.

                                              Seriously bro.

                                              [–]tyler_m39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you plan on getting revenge on the vault hunter scum who wronged you and your utopian dream? Also will there be a second coming of Jack like for Jesus? http://www.reddit.com/r/OneTrueJack/

                                              [–]TORQUESPLODE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              I am here to ask you one question, and one question only: EXPLOSIONS?!

                                              [–]tyler_m39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What is your relationship status with Sir. Hammerlock? I know the way that you look at him...

                                              [–]TheCosmicEntity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What is your favorite geological feature on Pandora? Thanks for your leadership a welcome change!

                                              [–]RickyZBiGBiRDJustice for Maya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hi there, Mr Jack. Big fan of your products. My question is, why did Hyperion stop producing its Nidhogg line of rocket launchers? Those beauties brought unrivaled levels of carnage at mid range.

                                              [–]mrleetyler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              this has to be the best AMA ever ....sooo funny!!

                                              [–]Lemon_Cube 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Is there any family members you have that we may not know about? I mean those good looks have to come from somewhere, am I right?!

                                              Also, Is the creation of the CL4P-TP unit something you deeply regret?, or something you take pride in for the horrible squealing noise that emanates from within those rust buckets has tortured so many...

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What is your favourite speech? If you don't like speeches, just pick a monologue from a movie or some crap like that.

                                              Also, black boater hats; Yay or nay? Y'know, the ones with charred bandit skin instead of felt.

                                              [–]jgcorvetteboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hello Handsome (or should I call you Jack?), I am currently interested in purchasing my first Hyperion weapon and I was wondering if you had any recommendations? I have a soft spot for assault rifles, SMGs and revolvers if that helps.

                                              [–]baylitheStrip the flesh, salt the wound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              This is the best AMA I've ever read.

                                              [–]D3dshotCalamity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So, Handsome- can I call you Handsome? Cool. Where do you stand on the hypothetical continuity of the ramifications and seemingly apparent fact that I don't know what these words mean, and how might you improve the quality of life for someone who knows not the meanings of them? Also, where did you get your mask? The Stupid Masks store?

                                              [–]stinksman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              so what is your favorite, superior, hyperion godlike armament?

                                              [–]echospecter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Is the presequel going to tell us how to be a serial killer as well?

                                              [–]TenspeedGamesWhen I'm good, I'm very good 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How are you better than me?

                                              [–]IceWolfcat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Will you marry me?

                                              [–]TheBigDoughnut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's your favorite cereal?

                                              [–]DaedricWindrammer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Is Handsome Jack Archer?

                                              [–]RayereSs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hi Jack I'm your fan. Would you shoot me, so I could have best kind of autograph from you?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              handsome jack can i ask you for a favor please don't kill or maim me

                                              [–]zetsu028 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What really happened to Angel's Mom?

                                              [–]treekickphase! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why did you kill Blood Wing and Roland?!

                                              [–]miguel833 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              People say that your a f***ked up guy. What will you like to say to them? Also, have you ever been baby seal clubbing? I recommend it, it's good for the arms.

                                              [–]AlvisDBridges 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              So how much DID Butt Stallion cost?

                                              [–]Cheapshades97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What programming language does hyperion use?

                                              [–]Miss_Torture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Can I have a job?

                                              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack! Oh man this is awesome! I'm a huge fan, just want to mention that's, and– Jack? Why are you walking away? What's that remote for? Jack?
                                              Jack?

                                              [–]Mishakat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Did you and Roland get milkshakes ever?

                                              [–]tuxismeBest Supporting Actor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Your thoughts on Daft Punk's "Random Access Memories" winning Album of the Year over RED?

                                              [–]brandonx456 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack, why you so handsome ??

                                              [–]Wernsto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Jack , Did you took over the Abandoned Crimson Lance Facilities on Pandora? And a Follow-Up question , If you did , What happened to the Crimson Lance soldier's that were there , Did you killed them or made them your slaves?

                                              [–]cassiopere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              am i late?

                                              [–]romannumbers96 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                              How exactly do the lunar mortars on your space station work?

                                              [–]romannumbers96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              And follow up, how does one apply to join the glorious Hyperion Corporation?

                                              [–]buggigirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hello, Handsome Jack. Let me just say I'm your number one fan! I love you so much! I've got two questions for you: 1. Have you ever met or heard of a girl called Tiny Tina? 2. Will you marry me?

                                              [–]lie7888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Are you a professional memer?

                                              [–]Pearlcent_Psycho 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Are you and Wilhelm buddies?

                                              [–]ClaptrapForJack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Do you know any languages, except English? Maybe Russian or Chinese?

                                              [–]kenwaystacheZer0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How comfortable is the mask?

                                              [–]snapssssssss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Will Borderlands:TPS be a midnight release on PC/Steam? If not, can you try and make it happen since some Gamestops are doing a midnight release. Thanks.

                                              [–]AFLYINTOASTER 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              What's under the mask?

                                              [–]Eruanno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Dear Jack,

                                              how do you stay so handsome? Also, autographs?

                                              Love, Eru

                                              [–]LuuLovebugANARQUÍA. 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Why are you so handsome?

                                              [–]Delta_Plus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              How do you feel about the rumors saying you were skipped over as a vault hunter for your very own body double?

                                              [–]EnasniVolzMiss me, Sugar? 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Hey Jack, HUUUUGE fan of your ex. What ever made you think you could keep a woman like Moxxi? ;)

                                              [–]Zacharius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Would you rather fight 1 skag sized duck or 100 duck sized skags?

                                              [–]dsween123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                              Kill, screw, or marry. Claptrap, Batman, and Mr. Torque. Don't fail me now handsome Jack! I need guidance!

                                              [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                                              [deleted]

                                                [–]Greyfox643I need it dead in 1 shot or less 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                                                Handsome Jack doesn't have nearly the amount of time to list even a fraction of that list.

                                                [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                Oh, I almost forgot. How are the wife and kid doing? Haven't seen 'em in a while. *smirk*

                                                [–]rogannn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                Handsome Jack, will you giveaway some Steam codes? Since you are loaded and Hyperion is sponsoring this right?

                                                [–]Yamigata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                When you off someone, do you find yourself saying things like "You just got Jacked?"

                                                [–]goneviralbop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                Does it bother you that a bunch of people killed you then took your face and wore it as their face?

                                                [–]ladyllana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                On a scale of a Skag to Claptrap, how rad are your dance moves?

                                                [–]JJacobi92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

                                                [–]Kerrzhe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                How big of a mistake was unleashing Krieg on an unsuspecting Pandora?

                                                [–]Badlydrawnboy0Sorry, did that hurt? / That sorry was sarcasm / I am not sorry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                Any thoughts on that Krieg guy? Dude ate my firstborn, who the fuck let him loose?

                                                [–]Detectivekatz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                Hey, you're an asshole, I'm an asshole. Let's get married and kill my ex in the most brutally painful way possible. This isn't a question, obviously. More like a fantastic suggestion / opportunity. For you. Murder and sex are two of the best things. Mostly the murder though. So what do you say? (There's a question in case you were going to be a bitch about it).

                                                [–]Andrewrox96 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

                                                Hey Jack. Who would you rather fight; 100 Duck-sized Buttstalions, or 1 Buttstalion sized Duck?

                                                [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                                                How did we even make it this far? As, like, a species?

                                                [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                                Some of us are further evolved than others, presumably.

                                                [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

                                                I don't know if you remember this, but a while ago you asked me to kill myself. Well, I did, and I became your bitch :)

                                                My question is why don't you use your own New-U stations?

                                                [–]HandsomeJackHyperionI'm such a rock star.[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                                                I hate this planet.

                                                [–]Zerg006NIPPLE SALADS -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                How do I get to be like you? I aspire to be you.

                                                Also, say hi to Buttstalion for me

                                                [–]quaint28 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                1. Would you please tell us about riding Butt Stallion in all his and your glory?
                                                2. Will the demise of all the Claptraps be explained in the Presequel?
                                                3. Is there more awesome intro music?
                                                4. May I get a code for a NISHA outfit or head? I'm looking forward to playing as her most!

                                                [–]edgehead_sts -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Will buttstallion be with you in the presequel

                                                [–]AMontyPython -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                How is Butt-Stallion?

                                                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Where'd you get the skin you stapled on to your face?

                                                [–]zetatrach -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                How do you feel about Eazy-E dying of AIDS?

                                                [–]mightymudkipWord::GT:Tommy Clayton -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                What brand were the wrost pretzels?

                                                [–]adawg58 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Butt stallion. yes or no?

                                                [–]justinoverdorf -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                How did you come about getting ahold of Butt Stallion exactly?

                                                [–]nicknamekb -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                What do you feed butt stallion?

                                                [–]Vivalaredsox -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Did those pretzel suck because Butt Stallion licked all of the salt off of them?

                                                [–]FatedTitan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Does BL:PS retcon info from BL2, such as Jack already having Angel manipulate the Vault Hunters in BL1?

                                                [–]SourCreamSuicide -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Where can I get my own buttstalion?

                                                [–]iamtehfong -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Where did your handsome face come from?

                                                [–]HannaShift -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Will Athena die in the end (Either under HJack's hands or Tiny Tina) ? Also , Will Maliwan, Vladof , Tediore and Hyperion have completely brand new weapons (does not have the same texture skins) ?

                                                [–]Houghbertmeat bicycle anyone? -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Do you ever regret getting Butt Stallion?

                                                [–]qSolar -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Did you name Butt Stalion after yourself?

                                                [–]alexrw214 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                A grape is a type of fruit, so grapefruit is redundant. Your thoughts?

                                                [–]medickal_assistTime to put on my pirate hat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                If you are better than me, that means I'm better than you by being worse than you, checkmate Handsome Jack, give me the keys to Hyperion now!

                                                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Do you have any plans to replace Butt-Stallion in the past?

                                                [–]dgspai -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Where you bought the Butt Stallion? :D

                                                [–]iamtehfong -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Have you ever seen Zer0's face? Is it true he's more handsome than you?

                                                [–]drayfrjg -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                So serious question, how come when the Vault Hunters die they regenerate via the New-U station, but when you killed Roland he did not? There was just this small inconsistency in your plot line.

                                                [–]iamtehfong -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Guess what, you self important, weird faced, vainglorious dick? In the future, I'm going to murder your daughter, then murder you. Deal with it

                                                [–]MrDrHoneybot -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Hey Jack, just thought I'd let you know it was me who off'd your girlfriend back in Lynchwood and right before I put a bullet between her pretty little eyes she told me I was more of a badass than you ever could be. Also that my gun was bigger than yours.

                                                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Would you rather fight 100 jackdaw sized Handsome Jacks or 1 Handsome Jack sized jackdaw?

                                                [–]Anubiska -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Hi Jack, what's up with your face? How many times did you stab Lilith to watch her heal?

                                                [–]CombinationPrime -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                So, is the Hyperion space station shaped like an H because it's made by Hyperion, or is that just a coincidence of design?

                                                Also, are Hyperion Corporation and/or you responsible for Krieg? If so, where and what do I pay to get more like him?

                                                [–]Wade1423SHUT THE F**k UP STEVE! -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Why didnt you respawn? Dont you own the company in charge of it?

                                                [–]Imbetterthanjack -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Hey, will we ever get to see your face on a PS4/Xbox one?

                                                [–]AidenTheHuman -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Has anyone nicknamed you HJ and do you proceed to reward that person with a hand job?

                                                [–]70541 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Alright will borderlands bring more gun designs to the fold instead of just different weapon damage/damage type?

                                                Talkin about gun DESIGN how they look I mean. Borderlands 2 really didn't bring much of a change to the gun appearances...Not saying I ShOULD be picky about how they look given there was a pretty good RNG system about how the perform but I guess I just got a bit melancholy looking at the same gun AGAIN but with better stats.

                                                I understand the moon will be littered with Hyperion tech but I can't help but want more in the design department for guns and to put it bluntly the previews of 3 leaves me thinking not much change was done to it.

                                                IE: 38BAZILLION guns... 12 varying gun designs.

                                                [–]jpagel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                No offense, but I'd rather see another Torgue AMA. His was epic

                                                [–]CrackLawlietAccuracy's overrated anyway... -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                If you had a doppelganger, what would his special ability - an action skill, if you would - be?

                                                Love your work!

                                                [–]xenodamus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                i purpose this question. if everything any vault hunter has ever killed including the vault hunters themselves are stored in the new u station. Wouldn't that mean everyone is immortal ? thus making the entire events that have happened on Pandora thus far null and void. So i purpose this question are you guys everyone at Hyperion etc essentially gods who reenact the same events over and over simply because you are bored. or is it and endless waltz where technology has surpassed humans to such a degree that they are cursed to live over and over never really dying. or is it your clones that the new u station spawns to essentially the clones are still fighting a war long past because that's all they remember up to the original persons death so essentially they die in the same fashion over and over?

                                                [–]Kingboomber -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                What did you do with Bloodwings' body after you um.."surprised' Mordecai and the vault hunter at the Wildlife Reserve?

                                                [–]DANNYonPC -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Why does your company's machine keep respawning the vault hunters?

                                                [–]Benskien -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                What do you think of Tiny Tina? and have you considered to get another diamond-encrusted poney as a friend for Butt Stallion?

                                                [–]mackejn -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                When are we going to get a REAL Borderlands sequel with a REAL hero? When are we getting Borderlands 3?

                                                [–]FrickOffRandy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                1. Would you rather lick Ellie's butthole or lose that handsome face?

                                                2. Do you ever kick it with mr. Torque? Dude is hilarious

                                                [–]lilPatrickstar -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Hey handsome jack who do you think is cooler bloodwing or butt stallion?
                                                I think bloodwing because he can turn any element he wants too and but stallion is just made of diamonds

                                                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Is Hyperion broke? A year since PS4 and XB1and only current gen releases. You wont get my money.

                                                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Are you a Bandit?

                                                [–]Imbetterthanjack -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Hey remember when I murdered your girlfriend after robbing her bank?

                                                [–]NiickI Disappear -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Hey jerk, what's up with regional pricing over here in New Zealand? I need my fix but I'm not keen on paying your inflated prices.

                                                [–]RudyJack -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                I thought you are dead.

                                                [–]HannaShift -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Eh. I guess I have heard someone mention on FB that it's Anton Bu***. I should not waste my time and hope for reply back. Seriously.

                                                [–]ashhhhjx -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                What are the chances I'd be lucky enough to spend some time with you? Wait, I mean, what are the chances YOU'RE lucky enough to spend some time with me? ;) xx

                                                [–]nosferatu1011 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                How is Butt Stallion doing?

                                                [–]RedSilverFish -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Will you be a playable charachter in the new pre-sequel? if so, who will be?

                                                edit: also, why did you imprisoned Angel? couldn't you kidnap another siren?

                                                [–]rudeboyrasta420 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Why would you allow the vault hunters to respawn on your new u systems? Like at first i could see keepin em around for the extra cash, but once they started gettin close? coulda ended it with one click.

                                                [–]FPSdiesel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Ass or titties?

                                                [–]A_SWORDS_SOUL -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Why did you shutdown Claptraps a production line?

                                                [–]GunslingHer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Are you good violin player? Are we ever gonna see you/ hear you playing violin again?

                                                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Why do you hate the vault hunters so much?

                                                Also what happens,if i give you thomas helmet(daft punk)would you wear it look all cool and handsome?

                                                And shiny?

                                                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                And also are you part of the glorious pc master race? If you are then its good to have a brother like you.

                                                [–]ItsMrPasquali -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Why isn't it on on demand yet for x360?

                                                [–]seattletono -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Are you still reading new questions on this thread for no apparent reason?

                                                [–]niko213 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Who did you enjoy killing the most?

                                                [–]AccelDX -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                So how did Nisha killed off the ol' Booze Bitch that was her mother?

                                                [–]Raiden63 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                If you had instead given Butt Stallion a name in honor of yourself, what would it be? Or did you already do that?

                                                [–]NocturnalBeing -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                What the fuck is an Orbatron?

                                                [–]iamtehfong -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                                What does Butt Stallion eat?

                                                [–]IAmDotorg -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                                I heard a rumor in a bar on Pandora you had some sort of side thing going on with Tiny Tina.

                                                That's nasty man, you're way too old. You should be ashamed of yourself.

                                                (How was she?)

                                                [–]tensam -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                                Game time - Kill. Fuck. Marry.

                                                Claptrap. Me. Claptrap again.

                                                [–]Xanlis -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                                want another pony than buttstalion ?

                                                [–]ClassicRetroGaming -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                                I try to win me a free Borderlands The Pre-Sequel copy, but I fail on every contest.

                                                [–]dookhut -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                                Does buttstallion poop diamonds?

                                                [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                                From Steve Urkel to OJ Simpson how dark is your sense of humor?

                                                [–]MizuAKBDon't mess with me or you'll get it >.> -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                                Question how did you get Butt Stallion? O_O I want one.

                                                [–]zeke10 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                How much did you have to pay Wilhelm to help?

                                                [–]MizuAKBDon't mess with me or you'll get it >.> -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                How do you stay sane around all of those robots?

                                                [–]Stonethunder -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Have you ever wished you were, or referred to yourself as, a "Wizard"?

                                                [–]maxwell-von-streisen -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                                waz up handsome jack, now if you had a chance between blowing up the moon along with everyone you know and love but also including every claptrap unit, with the frekkin huge laser on your moon base or being ugly what would you choose?

                                                [–]Zerthyam -1 points0 points  (1 child)

                                                Dear Handsome Jack, I found a very weird gun made by your company. http://imgur.com/o0z7CyU Explain to me, how the hell did you manage to make an E-tech gun without it being elemental?

                                                [–]Zerthyam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                Love your guns btw

                                                [–]BlahMedusa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                How do you get your hair to 'swoosh' like that?

                                                [–]ApertureKills -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Did you watch Ghost Dad with Mister Torgue? And did either of you cry?

                                                [–]KriegNippleSalads -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                                Nipple Salads!!! What is your opinion on the Conductor of the Poop Train? Also is it possible that you could be a DLC character in the Pre-Sequel? Btw Moxxi says your little ting ting looks like 2 cannible midgets in a fat guys ribcage. What do you think of that? Nipple Salads!!!! Moxxi is a siren o.o

                                                [–]ClaptrapFragtrap -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                HEY JACK! Wanna hear the new dub-step song i wrote?WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUB! DROP!.... wubwubwub!

                                                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                                Jack, just how handsome are you?

                                                [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                                                No C?

                                                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                                C A Masked John :o

                                                [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 9 points10 points  (3 children)

                                                They are not. They are simply a mechanic, and Anthony Burch has stated that he would take out the taunts if he could do it over again, because it makes it seem like more than just a mechanic. I like the taunts though.

                                                [–]Evil4Zerggin 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                                                Complicating this is the blurb for Tales from the Borderlands, which states

                                                On the savage Borderlands of Pandora, mighty warriors braved unimaginable perils in search of alien treasure troves. We call these heroes "Vault Hunters." But there are others. They have no access to New-U stations, nor do they enjoy the benefits of being a one-man army. For them, death is permanent, and although being on the right end of a gun is helpful, it’s their other talents that prove invaluable.

                                                [–]AJockeysBallsackSHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                                                Things that make ya go hmmmmmm.

                                                Perhaps, like the New U stations themselves, not having them is just a necessary mechanic? A TellTale game where you don't have to live with/die from a terrible decision is NOT a TellTale game. Take The Walking Dead, for example. "LOOK AT HOW BAD YOUR DECISION IS, LOOK AT IT. YOU SCREWED EVERYBODY OVER AND GOT SOMEONE KILLED. HOW DO YOU FEEL, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!? RESPAWN? THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, RESPAWN? YOU GOTTA LIVE WITH THIS SHIT, ASSHOLE! MY THROAT HURTS FROM ALL THIS YELLING, THAT'S YOUR FAULT TOO! FUCK YOU!"

                                                I mean, yeah, you can fail QTEs in The Walking Dead and die, so I'm sure that will be in TftB, but I'm fairly certain they're gonna end up making you live with whatever choices you make. Hopefully with less soul-rending pain and more humor than TWD.

                                                [–]Evil4Zerggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                                I agree that it's a necessary mechanic (or lack thereof). The problem is, like the taunts, that part of the blurb is written in a decidedly in-character tone; it talks about the universe of Borderlands as if it were a real thing rather than Borderlands as a collection of game mechanics.

                                                [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                bahaha, did you expect anything less?

                                                [–]Spider_RivieraWANT IT! NEED IT GOTTA HAVE IT! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                Don't worry about it Jack, this one's on me.

                                                Now where did I throw that bludgeoning hammer....

                                                [–]chetoflep 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                                Jack, pls

                                                [–]decinisBlake! Violin! 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                                Blasphemy of the highest order.

                                                [–]totes_meta_bot -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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